There was this man who was down on his luck went to this bar and drank several drinks, when he was done he stood up and walked toward the door. The bartender shouted at the man, "Hey mister, pay for those drinks"
The man looked back and replied "I already paid you," then walked out . Immediately he saw one of his friends and told him about the bartender, "Just go in there and drink all you want then get up and leave, When the bartender asks you to pay the tab, just tell him you already did." This sounded easy enough so he went in and had several drinks, The bartender went to him and said, "Before you came in, another man was here, when I asked him to pay his tab he told me he already did, but I don't remember him paying."
The man replied, "I would love to stay and hear your story but I don't have time, can I have my change please?"
2006-09-01 21:11:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
How do you feel about being an ''OLD FART'' (as young people call the elderly)
one day yourself?
2006-09-01 21:11:38 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Society & Culture
my friend asked me this because his brother lost his leg a year ago
2 fingers when he was a kid
and last week he lost his only boy
now he wants to kill him self
what would any god do this????
where did god go wrong???
this man has great karma he's a good person
2006-09-01 21:11:32 · 9 answers · asked by cosmic_convoy 3 in Psychology
2006-09-01 21:11:31 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings
2006-09-01 21:11:15 · 7 answers · asked by kylejeffry19 2 in Comics & Animation
In a village in each family they give birth to children till they get a boy. IF girl child they try again. What is the ratio of boys to girls.
2006-09-01 21:11:01 · 3 answers · asked by purnima d 1 in Mathematics
2006-09-01 21:11:01 · 7 answers · asked by ad_inbox 1 in Men's Health
what i am saying is there are alot of us don't spare 2times a week and act like we will survive a street fight when we know that most of are move are not base in a relilistic setting. the odd of some grabbing are slim . i guess what iam is traditional martial arts don't work unless it is your whole life . simplicety is the key.just don't thing that most understand that karate ,kung fu , tae kwon do , judo, jujitsu,akiado,and almost of the others where made in countries where everyone did martial arts here in america those rule do not aply. and in light of the many tourments martailarts is no longer a underground SO WHAT IAM ASKING IS HOW CAN THE AVAERGE MARTIAL ARTS DECIADE IF HE/SHE IS WAISTING THERE TIME LEARNING THE OLD WAYS IF THEY DON'T TEST THEM OUT WEEKLY .
2006-09-01 21:10:55 · 10 answers · asked by dvd_altena 1 in Martial Arts
it will be like a bench that lowers people from up above to down to the lake-about 50 feet-and the lake changes (up and down)
2006-09-01 21:10:46 · 1 answers · asked by recover56 1 in Other - US Local Businesses
2006-09-01 21:10:37 · 16 answers · asked by Gio_boy 2 in Marriage & Divorce
2006-09-01 21:10:33 · 12 answers · asked by E T 1 in Basketball
2006-09-01 21:10:31 · 9 answers · asked by Billy B 1 in Other - Computers
2006-09-01 21:10:30 · 21 answers · asked by mateenshahnam 1 in Movies
am just curious to know place of origin of that brilliant game
2006-09-01 21:10:28 · 10 answers · asked by darius 3 in Board Games
hhhhmmm
2006-09-01 21:10:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends
Why people love sex?
2006-09-01 21:10:12 · 13 answers · asked by ally 1 in Singles & Dating
i m not english.but i think english premier league is the most exciting league..whats your opinion?please say your nationality.thanks
2006-09-01 21:10:12 · 17 answers · asked by White Man 2 in Other - Football
It is Biotech Food made of cabbage. What is the receipe? It is good for digestion. Its receipe and its uses are required?
2006-09-01 21:10:06 · 1 answers · asked by Chaman K 1 in Diet & Fitness
It just looks wrong wearing all that makeup at such a young age.
2006-09-01 21:09:42 · 19 answers · asked by juju 3 in Television
2006-09-01 21:09:36 · 5 answers · asked by Gilbert M 1 in Other - Cars & Transportation
2006-09-01 21:09:34 · 25 answers · asked by gymfreak 2 in Polls & Surveys
I just wanted to know which state had more people using yahoo answers.
Also what time is it there?
2006-09-01 21:09:33 · 16 answers · asked by Silly_girl 3 in Polls & Surveys
Then I will tell you the answer to our immigration problem
http://www.boomersfunnies.com/Pictures/Pregnant%20Or%20Just%20Fat.jpg
2006-09-01 21:09:32 · 24 answers · asked by hittykkiod 1 in Immigration
2006-09-01 21:09:30 · 7 answers · asked by sakura4eternity 5 in Polls & Surveys
kids naked but not embarassed...
Why is there a correlation here?
2006-09-01 21:09:27 · 9 answers · asked by sincere12_26 4 in Other - Society & Culture
I bought a new high-end car and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
"Watch this!" he said, "Nelson!"
The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"
"Willie!" he said, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.
Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles" or "Stones" I'd get one of their classic songs.
Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. "A-s-s-holes!" I yelled.
Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.
Damn, I LOVE my new car!
2006-09-01 21:09:26 · 13 answers · asked by Woody 3 in Jokes & Riddles
These gems are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere
2006-09-01 21:09:22 · 10 answers · asked by china 2 in Jokes & Riddles
i come from an all male family 7 to be precise, just an aside would have loved to have had a sister, you can cry now if you like.
2006-09-01 21:09:09 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings
2006-09-01 21:09:03 · 2 answers · asked by ronzohooter 4 in Celebrities
I would be EXACTLY where I am now, NEXT TO MY HUSBAND, in our house with our son asleep in his room and our doggies all around us sleeping!!!
2006-09-01 21:08:49 · 25 answers · asked by ♥Shortie♥ 5 in Polls & Surveys
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