South Africa

I was so poor growing up... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's
home." I went over. Nobody was home.

During s*x, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.

One day I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy,"Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early".

It's been a rough day I got up this morning... put a shirt on and a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox, the cat
kept covering me up.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast-fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly... My father carries around a picture of the kid who
came with his wallet

2006-10-05 22:48:17 · 14 answers · asked by orion 3

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup. The doctor asked him
how he was feeling.

"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've got an
eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant & delivered a child.

What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then said, "Well, let me tell you a
story.
I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting.
But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun.
The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and
suddenly he spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises up his
umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must
have shot that lion."


"Exactly"... Said the Doc

2006-10-05 19:12:13 · 18 answers · asked by Hector 3

need advice for my gapyear.

2006-10-05 08:14:52 · 14 answers · asked by alex 2

Het enige van julle al Robbie Wessels se Leeu Loop probeer?

2006-10-05 04:08:07 · 13 answers · asked by Barney B 3

Are TV adverts wherever you are as exciting and humorous as ours in SA and which South African advert did you like most?

2006-10-05 02:24:04 · 13 answers · asked by Tsepo 4

Wat noem jy n blondine wat niks weet van rugby af nie?

Percy Montgomery

2006-10-05 01:03:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Saw this in the Madam & Eve cartoon.
Will tell it as a joke.
There is a conference room full of Politicians.
The main speaker stands up, and says:
"Hello everyone, and welcome to "Gay sensitvity training for politicians. " Before this course is over you will be cured of you're homophobic tendencies and learn to tolerate and appreciate the gay lifestyle.
By the way, my name is Mr. Bruce... and incase you're wondering I'll say it loud; I'm Gay and Proud!"
Suddenly there is a rattle at the back door.
The speaker roll's his eye up and says:
"All the doors are locked Mr. Zuma, you're not going anywhere, please sit down"

It's better in the cartoon, but I think is worth a chuckle.

2006-10-05 01:01:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anria A 5

I was thinking I'd like to head down to Cape Town. After a 35 day tour of Africa how long do you think I should spend in South Africa. I need to leave from Johannesburg so I'll have to return. Which area's are unsafe?

2006-10-04 14:54:13 · 9 answers · asked by chickenhouse 3

but wasnt he locked up in the first place because he was part of a terrorist group, before you start getting on your high horse i dont know alot about the man thats why im asking to find out.

2006-10-04 08:14:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Do squatter camps qualify as housing and is this what he was promising?

2006-10-04 08:08:59 · 9 answers · asked by Alf Garnett 3

With the implementation of the racist and illogical Affirmative Action and B.E.E. laws in South Africa, making it law that even PRIVATELY OWNED businesses must reflect the demographic of the country - even demanding quotas for black shareholders in said businesses - and with the increasing marginalisation of Afrikaans in the ever plummeting South African schooling system, how long can their nation survive?

Afrikaans landmarks are being renamed and their history is being rewritten. That, coupled with laws that are designed to keep a sizable portion of their demographic in constant poverty, have the same goal - to eventually wipe all memory of their existence from a land that has been their home for centuries.

Am I wrong?

2006-10-03 20:03:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

This may sound like an easy question to answer, but listen to the details before you answer. As you may or may not know, I'll be in SA in January. I'm currently planning my trip and have been offered a one week stay in George. The problem is that I'll be staying with my nephew, a pastor, and I like to "party'' till the lights go out! He doesn't for obvious reasons. If Diesel doesn't come up with a better plan, I might be stuck in George with no beer at all, because my wife already agreed to the stay. So gimme the scoop on places I can visit in George. I've never been there, so any help will be appreciated.

2006-10-03 05:46:49 · 4 answers · asked by Porgie 7

I just saw the MTV Music Awards and they have a category for best villain. That made me think...who we can give that title to in South Africa? Another fun question, guys. No need to argue. Any person historical or present will be considered, so best answer will have to go for most elaborate and creative description of this so-called scoundrel.

2006-10-02 22:50:42 · 11 answers · asked by Porgie 7

This is a South African history question, so best answer goes to the one that can give the most valuable information on this person. I wanna know everything that you can find!

2006-10-02 22:41:17 · 6 answers · asked by Porgie 7

All I have is springbok nude girls
I am looking for akkedis, beeskraal etc.
Please help

2006-10-02 20:18:23 · 3 answers · asked by waygook 3

Formerly Infectious Agent I have changed my display name. I received a personal mail from one of the two major irritants in the South African section telling me "You had better stop your personal insults you twisted little tosser" based on the fact that I disagree with his stand on crime in South Africa and his attitude on South Africa, and that I have been rather vocal about it.

I do not support Neil Watson (crimexposouthafrica), Jan Lamprecht (africancrisis.org), the Real Realist (southafricaiscrap) and their suuporters nor do I support the actions of Charles Nqakula, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, Jacob Zuma or Comrade Tony and others like them.

There are some 12 - 15 causes of crime besides government non-action and various permutations of those and neither side are addressing crime at that level. Much of the propaganda being spread by certain Yahoo Answers members about SA is such rubbish and based on lies and half truth.

So, am I twisted little tosser for taking this stand?

2006-10-02 20:07:45 · 23 answers · asked by Ni Ten Ichi Ryu 4

I've just noticed a move from 11 rand to the pound to about 14 in a period of 3 or four months. Is there a problem in South Africa?

2006-10-02 10:49:19 · 7 answers · asked by James 6

2006-10-02 10:18:07 · 3 answers · asked by southernrightwhale 3

I will be travelling the whole area Cape Town, Jo'burg potch, Bluefontain etc

2006-10-02 00:31:17 · 19 answers · asked by Updowndizzy 2

2006-10-01 21:41:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Will be taking the holiday in Nov, wanting to stay in Cape town for around 3 days.Hoping to take an overnight Safari and spend time in plenty of places to entertain a 9 year old,any help would be gratfully recieved as this is our first time to S.A. (cant wait).

2006-10-01 21:34:19 · 6 answers · asked by Maurice C 1

Do you think South Africans appreciate kwaito (Mandoza) more than contemporary (Steve Hofmeyr) and punk rock (Fofofpolisiekar)?

2006-10-01 04:14:15 · 14 answers · asked by Porgie 7

2006-10-01 04:09:03 · 11 answers · asked by Porgie 7

This is a straightforward question.

2006-09-30 23:49:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

How do you find it in Aus?

2006-09-30 22:43:16 · 6 answers · asked by Amazoon 2

For some reason I can't find any. Would you have to take a boatride from another city to get to it? If so which city?

2006-09-30 15:25:10 · 6 answers · asked by fojoa 2

2006-09-30 02:55:55 · 5 answers · asked by gem 3

Me and my husband have been trying to figure out where to move next. We are Canadian citizens living in Europe and he used to live in South Africa and said it isn't a nice place to live. I haven't been there but I don't really want to ge back to Canada. He hasn't lived there for about 10 years anyway. Is it all that bad? What is the best place to live? Is the crime as bad as people say? Would I be able to to find work? I am a Library Tech/Records Manager but I also work as an Administator? Would my husbard? He is a chef in highend restuarants but would like to go back to working in highend hotels/resorts?

Maybe if you can give me some pros and cons about life there.

Thanks

2006-09-30 00:51:27 · 15 answers · asked by Constant_Traveler 5

I was asked by another user to post something other than something you had to listen to, so here goes! How is it that people from different cultures and different backgrounds can come together and form such a great bond of friendship like we have on YA? We have only SA in common, yet we support each other as if we've been friends for life.

2006-09-29 07:48:17 · 10 answers · asked by Porgie 7

Click on the link and tell me what you think!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mwh9z58iAU

2006-09-29 07:24:35 · 6 answers · asked by Porgie 7