A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup. The doctor asked him
how he was feeling.
"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've got an
eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant & delivered a child.
What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.
The doctor thought for a moment, then said, "Well, let me tell you a
story.
I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting.
But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun.
The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and
suddenly he spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises up his
umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.
BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must
have shot that lion."
"Exactly"... Said the Doc
2006-10-05 19:12:13 · 18 answers · asked by Hector 3 in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ South Africa
hahaha good 1 orion!
2006-10-05 19:35:12 · update #1
Ha! Nice one Hector.
Here's another one...
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the magic forest when they run into the genie frog!
The frog says that he'll grant them each three wishes.
The bear says "I wish all the bears, besides me, in this forest are female". The frog says it will be done.
The rabbit wishes for a motorbike and gets it immediately.
"For my second wish", says the bear, "I would like all the bears, besides me, in all the neighbouring forests to be female"
The rabbit wishes for a helmet. The bear gives the rabbit a dirty look and says that he has wasted two wishes that he could of had for himself.
"For my final wish", continues the bear, "I wish all the bears, besides me, in the world are female". The frog grants him his wish.
The rabbit then jumps on his bike, puts on his helmet and just before he speeds off wishes "I wish that the bear was gay!"
2006-10-05 19:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by orion 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Alright I'm 14 hours late, but those 2 jokes are still making me laugh my *** out loud. Thanks Hector and Orion.
Here is another one:
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."
2006-10-06 09:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by Diezel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not from South Africa, but it appears as though the doctor is insinuating that the old man could not possibly have impregnated his bride...
The hunter and lion analogy is extremely witty.
2006-10-05 19:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...Reminds me of the station master in Leeuspoor who got a medal for bravery, when the people got off the train to stretch their legs, a lion chased them down the railway line, so he popped outside, let the people pass the points, and threw the points in front of the lion, and the lion ran himself katiff against the stopblock...
2006-10-08 03:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Featherman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confident . In early morning the engine oil and petrol would be caught , jointly as kick commencing it flows the oil and petrol to the engine and heats up the engine provides better experience . while the engine is warm , then using self initiate does not decrease the battery existence.
2016-10-18 21:59:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice one hector and orio.Saffir's have a good sence of humor!!
2006-10-06 02:19:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha ha, good one. I must say, I'm going with the doctor's story!!!
2006-10-05 19:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by poepies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love this one. Cheers, Enjoy your Week-End.
2006-10-06 04:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol. Thanks Hector and Orion, you both made the rundown to the weekend a bit easier!
2006-10-05 22:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anria A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha hector, you and orion should form your own stand-up comedy act!!! you rule
2006-10-06 00:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by gem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋