Hey South Africans, here's some Marc Lottering one-liners...lol?

Question

I was so poor growing up... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's
home." I went over. Nobody was home.

During s*x, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.

One day I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy,"Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early".

It's been a rough day I got up this morning... put a shirt on and a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox, the cat
kept covering me up.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast-fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly... My father carries around a picture of the kid who
came with his wallet

When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to
my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

I'm so ugly... my mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.

I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of
my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.


Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me
find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?"
He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."


My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how
big I'd get.


I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and
I look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; what's wrong with me?"
He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."


I

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.


With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my
kite in the air?"He told me to run off a cliff.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair

Answer 1

THANX SOOOOOOOOOOO much for those!!! just what i needed... i had a horrible day so far but youve put a smile on my face =) MWAH*

Answer 2

They particular might want to. HDB - fairly some the Australian area develop into born in Australia to Australian born moms and dads. what's being said isn't those who again 2 or 3 generations have some blood line in a overseas united states, yet those who're born and educated in a united states like South Africa which consists of Pieterson and Trott among numerous different key gamers for England. The gamers you element out for Australia are mediocre gamers who not often characterize the country, compared to the britain area the position the major causes they have been triumphing somewhat is via South African born and educated gamers.

Answer 3

Howzit Orion (The blind school in the cape?)

Those were lekka jokes!
Marcie is still of our greatest comedians!

Lekka dag verda boeta!!

Answer 4

Thank you, that is very nice. Cheers, Enjoy the Week-End.

Answer 5

Thanx, great way to start the weekend!!

Answer 6

Hey man, you are not alone. I'm with you. Infact, I'm worse.

Answer 7

Thanx, needed a good laugh....

Answer 8

Nice. wud have been funnier if i hadnt heard then before.

Answer 9

Oh, boy. God bless you.

Answer 10

Thanks orio yip he is ugly but have a great sence of humor!