I'm very introverted, even in youth. I was skinny, grew fat in high school but since then have been excersizing regularly and now I'm in good shape. Around people I know I can laugh and be normal but in clubs or large crowds I quickly clam up and become suspicious... almost angry at the strangers.
I have very vivid dreams and they are often fixated on the few girls I've been interested in before. When things wouldn't progress with them, I sometimes spent whole days fantasizing about how to change their mind or on dark days I'd even imagine making them miserable. I often consider ways of destroying myself. I've always been considered quite intelligent by people looking into my thoughts.
There are good points though. I've never hurt anyone, I don't hallucinate, and my thoughts are less violent now. It's the anxiety that bothers me. I feel confident about my looks, my mind, so why can't I impress people? Why do I feel like they want me to die?
2007-08-12
03:32:10
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4 answers
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asked by
-_Scarecrow_-
2