My Fat Lady.
Not long after closing time,
My mates had all just gone,
I was drinking up my pint,
Ready to move on.
A fat girl sat down by me,
But yet she did not speak.
A big fat tear formed in her eye,
And fell down her fat cheek.
My heart was touched by pity,
I said, "Don't be so sad,
"The beer in this establishment
"Can't be all that bad".
Drunkenly, she told a tale
Of chaos and alarm.
She moved a little closer,
Her bosom touched my arm.
I thought that helping strangers
Really was a duty,
And under all the layers of fat
She could be a beauty.
I took her home and let her sleep
Alone in my spare bed,
And as I got to know her,
She did things to my head.
I told her that if our affair
Was not to be just fleeting,
She had to stop her smoking
And cut down on her eating.
I told her that to change her life
From her living hell,
She really had to exercise,
And sup less booze as well.
I taught her to respect herself.
I made her ego bigger.
Her skin improved, she smiled a lot,
She gained a perfect figure.
Then our close relationship
Went right down the pan,
Because she went and left me
For a handsome man.
That woman has bad judgement
When it comes to men.
In a year or two she'll be
Fat and drunk again.
2007-08-23
21:52:09
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25 answers
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asked by
Anonymous