What should I do? Should I wait, stay or let go?

Question

I've met this nice girl online and she became my gf after a few months of flirting. She broke up with me 3 weeks later saying I wasn't the guy she's looking for. I wanted to stop talking to her but I couldn't. Ever since I met her I've became a different person. I started setting goals and doing them and I've made long term plans for myself and us. Ever since we broke up I started praying again (I was atheist before). I'm still talking to her but whenever I tell her how I feel she either gets creeped out or she gets mad. I want to wait for her...maybe she'll give me another chance but right now she likes someone else. She says she needs me..as a friend. I want to be there for her but I don't want her to struggle whenever I say what I feel for her. What should I do? Should I wait, stay or let go?

Answer 1

cut this girl loose. She is using you as an emotional tampon. Stand up for yourself and demand better.

but since I know you won't...

You acted too needy and clingy. Stop telling her how you feel you fool. This only sinks you deeper into the hole.

If theres any hope at all tell her you got over her and just met someone. She'll act happy for you. Then the next time you talk tell her how your new g/f came over and cooked for you and how good it was. (repeat stories about how awesome new gf is as needed) This is when the jealousy will kick in. I don't advocate using jealousy unnecessarily as it is highly manipulative, but you have ground to make up.

Also, mention girls who you've gone out with and were super cute but you decided they weren't X enough... adventurous, fun, outgoing, sexual, etc. This communicates super high value as you are a man that has high standards and a woman needs to be more than hot to earn your affection.

Answer 2

Just Pray about it, I'm not at all religious but I KNOW theres a God. sounds like she had a awesome influence on you. Maybe in the twists of fate that was the reason why you two met, and only for that purpose. You don't want or deserve to be the guy on the back burner, so go... but stay in touch and give her some space, maybe a perfectr girl who is so funny, so pretty and so awesome is waiting right around the bend of life and will admire and be attracted to your new found traits....

Answer 3

For the answer above mine, there is a difference between being the one and being a doormat there to have somebody wipe their feet on you when they are ready. If she doesn't want him now, she will only go back to him later as a second, third, maybe even fourth choice.

Let it go, if it were meant to be then there wouldn't of been a breakup. She wasn't the reason you set goals, you are the reason. What may have inspired you to set goals is happiness. But happiness comes from yourself, not people around you. You are just as capable of meeting your goals as you were before. Now that you have them, concentrate on those and yourself. Not a girl who isn't worth it. When you meet the right girl, you will be in a better place and glad for the timing.

Answer 4

I think it time to just let it go. Love is a 2 way street and she doesn't seem to have the same feelings as you. I know it very difficult but you will be OK. Its hard to go back as friends when you once were so much more, it you feel like you can't handle being friends then just tell her so in a nice way. Don't put your self in more hell more than you already are.

Answer 5

this may sound harsh, but prepare for the worst.

it seems as though shes lost feelings for you -- shes dating another guy! she purely wants to be "just friends" and nothing more.

if thats too hard for you to handle, then you need to just take a break & let yourself get over her before you can be her friend again. you need closure! go out, meet other ppl, have fun.

sure, she made you realize many things & has "turned you into a better person". so take that & move on. you dont need her to continue doing what youre doing.

good luck!

Answer 6

aww... i'm so sorry to hear this. but i just want you to know that it is okay for you to feel that way. i understand that you still like her. but if she just leave you hanging and goes off with another guy, you shouldn't like her as mush anymore. she's hurting you. and if you keep liking her, not only you're wasting your time, but you're also hurting yourself more. there are many fish in the sea. you caught one for a while. but then it suddenly bit you. it's time to let go and find a different one. maybe the next one you find would be much prettier and cares about you more? you never know. you can still talk to her though. but try letting her go. lets see how things go. and then decide what you're going to do. but good luck. best wishes.

Answer 7

I let my son stay his first night at his grandparents when he was a year and 4 months old .. it was definitely hard for me more then it was for him. Now he is 3 years old and he left for his first week long trip and with my MIL to go visit his great grandma 600 miles away =[ He was way more ok with it than I am.

Answer 8

Been there.

She'll probably go through a few more guys and realize that you've been there for her. The whole time. As a friend.

That's your in.

If you REALLY love this girl, be patient, be there, be involved, be willing to listen about other stupid guys... and you WILL get your chance.

But you have to wait for her to reach out. She can't if you're always up in her grill about "dating again".

Answer 9

If i were you, i would accept her friendship & go on with my life. If she has helped you to become more positive in life, then that is good & i think you should go ahead in this good direction.

Then later, someone will, sooner or later, notice that you are on a good way & will join you together... & you will become happy because you both gave each other your hearts mutually.

Answer 10

just wait mybe she is going through something and needs to figure things out for herself she will come around when she is ready just wait a little longer if she doesnt then it is time for you to let go and move on i know it is hard but if you really love or care for someone you must let them go and there is always a chance that they will come back to you be strong and move on till time is in your your favour and things go as they should