My ex is in his mid 40's. He always said he loves me, said I am his number one favourite dream girl. But why he still playing around and doesn't want to settle down?
Will a playboy settle down?
2007-08-23 22:57:32 · 17 answers · asked by Littlestar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you are right. I also asked him are there #2, #3, #4... I knew I was not his only one and will never be, so I left him.
2007-08-24 04:26:49 · update #1
Littlestar,
Maybe a look at your question in its parts may help
* My ex is in his mid 40's.
= mid-life crisis, looking back at his life and now looking down the barrell of 40+ 50+ he sees his virility slipping away
He always said he loves me, said I am his number one favourite dream girl.
=> "said" he loves is not translating to `showing` he loves you
=> "his number one"; but looks like he has a #2, #3 #4...
=> "favourite dream girl" - yes he likes the good bits, but not too sure about taking on board the `human` part of you, warts and all....that takes maturity.
But why he still playing around and doesn't want to settle down?
= Few reasons (i.) he likes the `thrill of the chase` and at the early/dating parts of a relationship, you only get the good parts of a person (ii.) when you see their downsides, their hang-up, fears and failings, you think `err dont like this in her` and move on - he just wants the `nice` bits of others, not the whole package, (iii.) he wont want to settle down if he still sees others as an expression of freedom.
Will a playboy settle down?
= It's like a drug really, he's in for the thrill of the chase, that's his high. And the fact he still sees that he has `playboy` appeal it endorses him going out and doing it again and again.
Worse still, as long as he has a half-decent build and can carry himself with an air of confidence he will probably keep at it - eg,. look at Sean Connery (76) , Dennis Quaid (53), George Clooney (46), Clive Owen (43) and dozens of others at 40+... they can still woo the ladies.
If he's you ex, let him keep that title, dont waste your time on someone that immature.
Good luck
BM
2007-08-23 23:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by brad m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
34. 30's too young tho really regret things. There's a good number of future years to compete goals. Guys in their 30's though are in more of a rush to figure their life out than people younger. Most guys will want to be cool dads if they eventually want to have kids. You can't be a cool dad at 40. Cool dad at 39? Maybe. Someone would probably want to know someone for 3+ years before getting married at the very least, so working the numbers backwards, that's 36. It's takes 9 months to conceive so subtract another 9 months from that. 34 and some months.
2016-05-21 05:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't settle down - I'm not excited...
Oh, sorry - tell you the truth. I believe that more guys are willing to settle down than is given credit for. As far as an actual 'playboy' - probably not.
Good luck and hope things work out.
2007-08-23 23:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by {}Chris{} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number 1 favorite dreamgirl??? So theres number 2, 3, 4 and so on...?
You cant teach old dogs do tricks. But the right girl can always make playboys change, too bad if its not you.
2007-08-23 23:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by TOTALLY CONFUSED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dad married my Mom when he as 35. I personally don't like the idea of marriage in this day and age, because there are no significant benefits of it. What can you get as a married couple that you don't get otherwise? It's a legally binding contract. I will probably never get married because I want to keep my independence and refuse to let somebody else dictate what happens in my life. I want to have fun and go on a trip to europe without having kids to worry about. He's probably the same way. Do most middle-aged married men look like they have a whole lot of fun and excitement going on in their lives? Of course not, because they've been tied down by their wives and children with no escape. Why not live your life to the fullest and make the most out of it? Don't let somebody else ruin it for you.
2007-08-23 23:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He'll be a playboy for as long as you let him!! If women like you and whoever else continue to go all jittery towards him and actually let yourselves be numbered in his ego scale then he'll continue....
Why don't you cut your losses and try get yourself a guy with whom you are number 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.....
Don't be ossesed with an ex... I know it's hard, I promise, Ive been there..I seriously thought he was my one chance...But, I managed to let myself have some space and met my boyfriend...Who I can tell you is 100 times more the man of my dreams/soul mate.... I think, like me you're obsessed with this man being your only chance...He's not....Break away...If you do.. like me you'll look back and really 'see' him and be glad he's not your worry anymore....
Good luck. Be strong...Please dont dismiss all this advice..We all think the same..You deserve better.
2007-08-23 23:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by KB 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he meant it he would not be with other girls. If you were his 'one favourite dream girl' then he would be with you. He is stringing you on. If he hasn't settled yet don't wait any longer. He is going to stay a boy and not become a man.
2007-08-23 23:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Just John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have settled down thank you
Sounds like he will never settle down !
2007-08-23 23:04:08 · answer #8 · answered by DickyNowItAll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a commitment. If he says you are his number one but doesn't act like it, then he is lying. Playboy or not, he doesn't love you if there are other women in the picture. God bless.
2007-08-23 23:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by wizball 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a playdude will always stay just that, as soon as he gets bored he'll move on, dont try change him cos you cant, my father is like that, i have 6 sibblings with 4 step mothers, nice hey? my dad is 38, rich as hell but one hell of a player
2007-08-23 23:04:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋