My boyfriend occasionally comes and has lunch with me when I'm at work. Sometimes when he's walked me back in, he's looked at other men that work with me who happen to walk by and say hi or something, but he's never been unfriendly to them.
The other night, I was in a place out of view, and overheard a newer guy asking someone about me.The person responded with "Don't even talk to her, her boyfriend will kill you." I was pretty startled by that, and since I knew the guy, I asked him later what he meant. He only laughed & said that all the guys who had been there a while were well aware not to be anything but polite with me, nothing more. Some of them worked there when my boyfriend used to work there, but he changed jobs shortly after we started dating. When I pointed out to the guy that my bf was never anything but friendly to everyone, he only laughed and said that was because I didn't understand how guys communicate with each other. What's that all about?
2007-08-23 23:53:10 · 19 answers · asked by Bruja 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To add to that, the man told me that my bf could put the fear of God into anyone who thought about talking to me....That was strange to me, my bf is only nice to everyone, smiles at everyone, never says anything?? What are you guys doing when you look at each other?? LOL
2007-08-23 23:56:17 · update #1
NY PTK-Well, everyone has always said how much they liked him, he was well respected when he worked there as both a good employee, and a good person outside of work. He gets along great with everyone, they all talk to him like they think the world of him. I guess that's why this whole thing floored me?? He's one of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet, his family thinks the world of him, he bends over backwards for everyone as much as he can. Never occurred to me at all anyone might be afraid of him?? That's crazy.
2007-08-24 00:07:12 · update #2
yes, guys do have their own forms of communication - and most of it is invisible to us females. they have a different culture.
2007-08-23 23:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that you mean beyond the grunting and scratching right? LOL
And the answer is still YES!!! Men can be very possessive, and territorial. It sounds like he may have a reputation for aggressive behavior (as most men do have aggressive behavior to some extent) and while he is very polite and shows manners, which shows he isn't a caveman, he is simply showing that he is in a relationship with you, and that you are "off limits" to other men-especially from his friends. This may come from him having been cheated on by some girl with one of his friends, or just being cheated on in general. He may be insecure in himself, and thinks that he needs to be assertive so that some other guy that he is "threatened" by (i.e. losing you to another man)doesn't come and steal you away.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless the "unwritten language" becomes that of jealousy, rage and anger for which you are the focus of. Don't let him dominate you, don't let the jealousy turn on you, i.e. you stop being who you are to satisfy his jealous nature--don't become his "possession".
Good Luck!
2007-08-24 07:08:56 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is obviously a ALPHA MALE. He seems pleasant around you, but is very dominant around others. Also, he seems proud of you as his "prize". The best way to understand him, are the people closest to him in life. If you are really that concerned, ask the people that you work with/he used to, what they thought of him while he was there. So far as unwritten rule of male communication... I am a rather big guy and have never had any real problems with adversarial people around women I dated. Walking by another guy may have just involved a nod or a stare (if they gawked rudely instead of looked). I am a very happily married man now and to me, that just seems to be a forgotten language...like the paintings on cave walls...
2007-08-24 07:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by NY PTK 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is some type of male code. I have seen it in the eyes, and even in what we might call casual conversation. They stress things like "That is MY gf." Or they give them a dirty look as if to say they will kill them. Some of them even walk over in an intimidating manner. They move in between you and the guy looking at you. It is all sooooooo strange to me, because I just say something when I have a problem.
2007-08-24 07:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We guys mostly respect each others gf and never try to take over. we two work together as well and everyone at my work place knows that she is with me and no one dares to talk to her impolitely except the ones that are my friend and hers and every new person get aware to be away from her. we guys dont have to tell each other to be away from our girls but everyone else kind of get the idea. Guy thing.
2007-08-24 07:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by luvis4losers 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes and we are sworn to never reveal the code to you women!
Next thing you know you'll be looking for our secret underground meeting place of men! Opps I might have said too much already!
I'm just kidding!!! LOL
It could have been a look, slow turned clenched fist or something like that, something that looks intimidating.
2007-08-24 07:03:28 · answer #6 · answered by Wade C 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They do just us ladies, although we are more sophisticated. If you pay much attention to you bf, then you will know that what your workmates are saying is true. It might have been an indirect warning.
For example; a Guy might be having a chat with friends and you know how topics start. He might have said something like,"Whoever i find fooling around with my girl, i will kill."
Such a statement is an indirect warning.
Be observant!
2007-08-24 07:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sombo Mummy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh, who understands anything that men are thinking?? I think they do have their own little non-verbal communication thing going on....just like they expect us women to read their minds. They just assume we'll automatically KNOW how they wan their t-shirts folded or that they won't eat carrots or (my favorite) that because it's Friday they are gonna stop off for a beer with the guys after work and be late getting home......they didn't call and tell you that because you are just SUPPOSED to know that....it's only common sense!!! YEAH RIGHT!!!
2007-08-24 07:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by katjam234 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Could be you do not know your boyfriiend as well as you think.He maybe very pocessive of his girl friends and your co workers know this.
It could also be that your co workers are jealous of your boyfriend or are taking the mickey out of you.
We men are stragne lot and we do not like other men chatting up our women.
I would not worry too much,as men tend to gasbag (rave on) just for the sake of it.
2007-08-24 07:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Rick's Locomotive 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely. It's llike a silent code. It started in ancient times, so there's not a thing we can do about it... it just happens.
It's a good thing, too, or there'd be a lot more trouble over the new gf times!
2007-08-24 07:05:50 · answer #10 · answered by LK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh c'mon, surely you know about eye contact. It doesn't matter how polite your boyfriend is, his eyes will say exactly what he is thinking, and men will pick up on this, especially if he is fairly fit looking and had a bit of a reputation in your office when he worked there.
2007-08-24 07:03:48 · answer #11 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋