Entertainment & Music - 1 November 2007

Can someone just tell me the story of him?? PLEASE!!!

2007-11-01 10:09:25 · 12 answers · asked by this screaming inside my head 6 in Polls & Surveys

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.

"Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands.

"No" he replies, "I'm just the manager."

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.

"I''m afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused. "He's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."

She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

2007-11-01 10:07:50 · 11 answers · asked by ღ£Ðwå®Ðz§ løv£®ღ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Q: At what time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn.

Duck walks into a chemists and asks for some chapstick.
Clerk says will that be cash or cheque?
Duck says "Just put in on my bill!"

What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!

A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman
"Has my brother been in here"
The barman says "What does he look like ?"

2007-11-01 10:06:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

the griswolds as in national lampoon, the parkers as in ralphie in a christmas story, or as in it's a wonderful life,just tell me about your christmas's

2007-11-01 10:04:31 · 11 answers · asked by mason proffit 6 in Polls & Surveys

Gladys Sharp: "Over The Hedge"
Ernst Blofeld: the James Bond movies
Annie Wilkes: "Misery
Darth Vader: Star Wars saga
Norman Bates: Psycho
Shooter Gavin:Happy Gilmore
Jigsaw:Saw saga

2007-11-01 10:04:26 · 7 answers · asked by gerbil31603 5 in Movies

And they don't do anything about the dogs terrorizing you and scratching you with their crusty paws? One is a pit bull and the other is an American bull dog. Both are over weight and meaty too.

What do you do in this case?

2007-11-01 10:03:17 · 7 answers · asked by ShrunkenFro™ 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-01 10:02:56 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-01 10:01:42 · 1 answers · asked by mipty2001 1 in Talk Shows

2007-11-01 10:00:43 · 2 answers · asked by . 5 in Polls & Surveys

My fiance and I want to recreate the Halliwell Manor from Charmed. My stepdad is a contractor and we have some crude blueprints to work from. Fixtures and such would be different but the overall layout of the house would be very similar, from the basement to the attic. Even the garden. Has anyone else every heard of this being done? Are there any legal repercussions I should be concerned about before breaking ground?

2007-11-01 10:00:35 · 14 answers · asked by M 3 in Drama

Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was
invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little
Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about
the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the
spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Little Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Little Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little
hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
"Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
The mother proudly replied, "Yes. We are so thankful. The doctor said
he will have 20/20 vision"

Little Johnny replied, "That's great... cuz he'd be f*cked if he needed
glasses

2007-11-01 09:59:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-01 09:59:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

With really good lyrics....?

2007-11-01 09:58:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Music

Mine:

Harry Potter
Rock music
My guitar
Cheese-stuffed breadsticks
Swimming
Table tennis
Movies
Extra-buttery popcorn
Hot topic
Garage sales
I could go on and on =)

2007-11-01 09:58:01 · 27 answers · asked by I ♥ HP™ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-01 09:57:20 · 5 answers · asked by favorite_aunt24 7 in Drama

my 2nd glass of wine....should I be worried about a drinking problem....!st drink I have had in 6 months by the way....Kids went to friends house after school and the have a way home..

2007-11-01 09:55:40 · 7 answers · asked by ♥STREAKER♥©℗† 7 in Polls & Surveys

I have been sick & bed ridden, I haven't been on since last wednesday! It's like not being able to talk to a friend!

2007-11-01 09:55:01 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

There was a magican who worked on a cruise ship preforming mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magican but his act was regularly ruined by the onboard parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like: "IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE" or "IT'S IN HIS POCKET" or "IT'S IN HIS MOUTH." The magican was getting sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening at the climax of his act the liner struck an iceberg and sank in seconds.
Amazingly, the magican and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magican was lying on a piece of drift wood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring back at him with his beady little eyes. The parrot sat there for hours and eventually said " OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?"

2007-11-01 09:54:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” -- even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don't tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don't say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug.”





funny or not lol.

2007-11-01 09:54:50 · 10 answers · asked by ღ£Ðwå®Ðz§ løv£®ღ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

It's 2022 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. The first thing they see is a Martian couple. Mike and Maureen naturally want to know how they have sex. She goes straight to the point: "So how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Like you do, I think," says the male Martian, "but maybe we'd better check it out to be sure!" So, after some discussion, they all agree to swap partners for one night.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a tiny penis about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen, disappointed beyond belief. The male Martian looks puzzled. "Why not?" he asks, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replies, "it's just not long enough to go inside me!"

"No problem," he says, and starts to slap his forehead with his hand. With each slap, his cock grows till it's actually pretty long. "Well," she says, "that's very impressive, but it's still quite narrow...." "No problem," says the male Martian, and he starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his cock grows wider and wider until it's huge! "Wow!" shouts Maureen, before they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love.

Next day the two couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike says to Maureen, "Well, was it any good?"

"I hate to say it," replies Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"

"It was horrible," says Mike, "all I got was a terrible headache. She just kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."

2007-11-01 09:54:22 · 3 answers · asked by ✿❃❀❁✾ Stef ♐ ✿❃❀❁✾ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-01 09:53:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

ok you have always been of help to me when I have days like this and once again I was depressed and slept the day away...would you be so kind to fill me in on what happened on the show today... thanks alot ladies and gentlemen

2007-11-01 09:52:50 · 4 answers · asked by ღOMGღ 7 in Soap Operas

2007-11-01 09:52:47 · 52 answers · asked by Pompal 7 in Polls & Surveys

The bell hop at the counter tells them the room will cost $30 so they each put in $10 and go on up. When the manager returns he tells the bell hop that there is a discount on that room and it should only be $25. He gives the bell hop $5 to give back to the hunters. On his way to the room, the bell hop decides to keep $2 for himself and give $3 back to the guys (can't split $5 three ways evenly, he figures, and they won't know the difference). So. . .if each guy gets $1 back that means they each paid $9. 9 times 3 is 27 plus the 2 the bell hop kept makes 29, not 30. How is this possible?

2007-11-01 09:51:45 · 13 answers · asked by strandlock 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Thanks!!

2007-11-01 09:51:12 · 9 answers · asked by Lisa the Pooh 7 in Lyrics

Usually the new show Gossip Girl shows on Wednesday night on CW11 (USA) or CTV (Canada) but this time it didn't.

2007-11-01 09:50:02 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Drama

2007-11-01 09:49:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-01 09:49:25 · 13 answers · asked by Somewhere in Ohio 4 in Polls & Surveys

so far after watching the new season of both shows i think that greys is the better show. private practice is good but a lil boring and the character i dont really feel anything for them. they are a lil blah

what does the rest of you think?

2007-11-01 09:49:08 · 10 answers · asked by Bridget R 3 in Drama

Are we the 'black sheep' of this 'family?'

2007-11-01 09:49:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys