Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
A man complains, "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
Grass of Home.'"
"That's the Tom Jones Syndrome," explains the doc.
"Is it common?" asks the man.
"It's Not Unusual," says the doc.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and
heat it too!
Two cows are standing in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was
artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at, either.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do?"
"Let's have a look at him." says the vet. So he picks the dog up and
examines his eyes. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man.
"No, because he's really heavy," says the vet.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher's and wanted to bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
too high."
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,
"I know -- I cut off your arms!"
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
2007-09-13
21:49:36
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18 answers
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asked by
The Ghost of Scousertommy
2
in
Jokes & Riddles