I have been with my husband for almost 4 years. Our relationship thas been very, very rocky. He has been physically, verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. I have left him, twice already. The first time, was because, he pulled my hair and I got really angry and we got into a wrestling fight and he caused me bruises all over my body. I put him in jail and we were separated for about 1 month and 1/2.
After he got out of jail, he started going to anger management classes and he promissed me we would do marriage counseling. When he convinced me he had changed I moved back with him and he stopped the marriage counseling, but he did do anger management for 1 year. He was good for about 7 months and then (with no physical abuse, but still verbal and emotional) until 1 day he became very angry and started insulting me and making derrogatory remarks (he even spit my face) and I left him agai. We were separated for three months, in which time were were still talking and seeing eachother,I was still giving him another change to show me that he would change, well through those three months he convinced me again, that he would change, and again, like an idiot I believed him and this time, we moved states; we used to live in California and we moved to Arkansas, mostly because my family doesn’t like him at all and I would get kicked out of any family event if I took him with me. They told me as long as I am with him they want nothing to do with me. Well we left to give each other the opportunity to be by our self’s away from all the people that have wanted to separate us since we began dating. Anyhow we have lived in Arkansas for 8 months, he hasn’t been physically abuse towards me again, but he is verbally abusive still when he gets mad. He gets angry at everything, and he physically abuses of his pets. He has fighting cocks, which he concentrates on breading them. Well yesterday he got so angry that a chicken who had 9 baby chicks wouldn’t go inside the chicken coop that he killed her and ripped her head off; he was beating up all of the animals; he broke another rooster’s leg, another one is blind from 1 eye and he has killed so many, he was screaming so loud that you could hear his voice throughout the entire neighborhood. It’s like looking at a psycho, he screams so loud that it gives me goose bumps just to think about his angry voice. I have been depressed for almost 3 years know. I started to smoke marijuana, because it’s the only thing that calms me down, relaxes me and helps me forget about the way he acts, it helps me forget about my problems, but I know it’s not the solution. I don’t know what to do, I am so depressed, and I feel so alone. We are also, about to buy a house, but I just want to run away, sometimes I wish he would just vanish into thin air (don’t get me wrong, I don’t want anything bad to happen to him) but I wish he would just disappear out of my life. But I feel guilty to leave him. I really wanted to make this marriage work because of how I was raised, but I don’t know what to do anymore.
2007-05-04
04:37:27
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20 answers
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spaced
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Marriage & Divorce