It's not like there's something wrong in my life. i have a place to live, clothes to dress with, food to eat. i will start working next month so i'll have an income. i share a flat with my childhood friend and she's great, we get along well.
No reason to be unhappy.
But still this is exactly what i am. 90% of the time i feel strangely supressed and alone. i dream about dying and don't have anything to offer to life that it could work on.
It's always been there but these last years i haven't been able to cover for it, so my friend knows bit about it, not much though.
Now it is starting to show TOO much, i'm afraid i might put off my new acquaintance with my negativity. This is the last thing i want cuz i think very highly of him.
And that is why i'm asking.
How do i get rid of this stupid feeling? Or at least how can i keep it to myself when in times it seems too big?
What i want is to be positive, so people would feel comfortable around me. i don't want to loose my new friend.
2006-12-19
22:27:30
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10 answers
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Did i just say something silly?
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