Entertainment & Music - 24 October 2007

Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.
Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away so, it takes
them
ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer.

"Ok Roy give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it," says Roy
"I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried.
He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Andy didn't bring it.
So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener.
Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it.
But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.
After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise
lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace.
20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving,
but a
promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.
Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich
each,
and just as
they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts,


"I KNEW IT,......I'M NOT F#CKIN' GOING!"

2007-10-24 00:35:58 · 20 answers · asked by barz 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Any medical expenses will be taken care of for you, so it won't come out of your $20,000.

2007-10-24 00:35:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If you pay for it.

2007-10-24 00:34:15 · 21 answers · asked by elizadushku 6 in Polls & Surveys

Agree?

2007-10-24 00:33:56 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:33:33 · 10 answers · asked by Jack Torrance 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:32:30 · 33 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

Who is the biggest drunk/alcoholic in Hollywood? Who can pack away the booze like there's no tomorrow?

2007-10-24 00:30:58 · 9 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

1. Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

2. Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a
women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
time,who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both
last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

8. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

9. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

10. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.

2007-10-24 00:30:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjQAjOTZalct2dr4bpCMXYYjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20070526185047AAzFz03

look at the date on this question....i think this was my first profile.

2007-10-24 00:29:05 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:27:57 · 27 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

?=)

2007-10-24 00:27:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

HERS:
-----

1. Pulls off at wrong exit.

2. Opens window.

3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.

4. Arrives at destination presently.

HIS:
----

1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.

2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.

3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.

4. Finally rolls down window.

5. Hocks a loogie.

6. Pulls up to a 7-11.

7. Gets three hot dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.

8. Asks guy behind counter how to get back onto the highway.

9. Gets back into car.

10. Farts.

11. After he closes the door.

12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.

13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because Habib El-Mahawatashmin back at the 7-11 said it was.

14. Almost hits a deer.

15. Curses the night.

16. Curses you.

17. Curses the large slurpee.

2007-10-24 00:27:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

i haven't/ just thought i would ask

2007-10-24 00:27:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Who is the sexiest? The cutest? The hottest? The not hottest?

2007-10-24 00:26:22 · 7 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:25:49 · 5 answers · asked by dream_boy 1 in Classical

I am a Taurean born May 7, Male. I recently attended a job interview- they haven't come back with a repsonse (Y/N). I was told it has come down to 2 (me and one more candidate).

Will I get this job? What does my horoscope indicate?

2007-10-24 00:25:28 · 3 answers · asked by lusktuffar 3 in Horoscopes

2007-10-24 00:24:50 · 3 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked,
Bring beer.

2007-10-24 00:24:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-24 00:23:16 · 19 answers · asked by klunk 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:22:01 · 2 answers · asked by shay-shay 1 in Horoscopes

if so how often do you go

2007-10-24 00:20:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-24 00:19:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Maybe you've heard this one.

One day, a Kindergarten teacher was giving a lesson about the six senses.
On this day, the kiddos were learning about the sense "Taste".
So for this experiement, the teacher brought a bag of different flavoured lollipops.
Each kid was blindfolded-and then given a lollipop.
The first one was grape...upon tasting it, immediately the kids shouted;
"Grape! Grape!"
"That's right! " Said the teacher, "My, you have strong senses"
The next one was orange. "Orange!" exclaimed the children
"Right again!"
Then came cherry, butterscotch, apple... And one by one in a row, the children got each correctly!
Finally came the last one...The teacher gave the kids a very interesting flavor (honey) But the children couldn't figure out what it was. After a minute the teacher finally said
"You guys seem to be having some difficulty...Here! I'll give you a hint! The name of this flavor, is a word your mommies and daddies call one another. "
Right at that moment.

2007-10-24 00:17:46 · 6 answers · asked by SchmeeHee 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Who do you think has too many unreasonable demands and would be hard to work for? I think Kimora Simmons and JLo may be contenders. Opinions?

2007-10-24 00:17:24 · 4 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

Would you buy her new fragrance or her new cd when it comes out? Is she pretty? A glamazon? or a mess?

2007-10-24 00:15:56 · 20 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,
"What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches
and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her
how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the
woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say
something. The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

2007-10-24 00:15:05 · 12 answers · asked by barz 2 in Jokes & Riddles

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from.

So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “OMG! are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped me with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt ???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”

2007-10-24 00:14:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Which fashion magazine do you prefer?

2007-10-24 00:13:54 · 9 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

Most of us feel that honesty & trust are the keys to a successful relationship. Keeping secrets from our partners can lead to trouble but there are experts who are saying that keeping secrets can lead to our success. What do you think?
hmmm...Yahoo suggested this question for singles & dating......interesting!

2007-10-24 00:13:27 · 41 answers · asked by Me 7 in Polls & Surveys

Whose sandwiches do you prefer? Who makes the best tuna, ham and turkey sandwiches?

2007-10-24 00:11:20 · 10 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys