Entertainment & Music - 22 October 2007

I'm looking for some German movies that were sold in the US with English subtitles. I already have Anatomy and Anatomy 2, Downfall, and The Princess and the Warrior. I also know about Das Boot and Run Lola Run. Is there other good movies I don't know about?

2007-10-22 23:59:51 · 4 answers · asked by JonW 2 in Movies

and the other person just nags,nags,nags,nags,nags,nags, nags........................................................ I would love just a kick in the butt, ya'll have a great day !

2007-10-22 23:59:33 · 8 answers · asked by Flowers 7 in Polls & Surveys

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

2007-10-22 23:58:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Morning friends. ♥

2007-10-22 23:58:11 · 38 answers · asked by tbm 4 in Polls & Surveys

The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter''s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and you''ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!"

2007-10-22 23:55:56 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

.... look and behave like one of her/his parents??

2007-10-22 23:55:09 · 24 answers · asked by Alice in Wonderbra 7 in Polls & Surveys

*Installing Husband 1.0*
Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as Super 12 Version
5.0, Tri Nations 3.0, Limited Overs 7.2, and especially Golf Clubs
4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http:
I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as
designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, over use of the above
application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT
install Mother in law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that
will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do
not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck,
Tech Support

2007-10-22 23:53:22 · 16 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Did you watch last night's episode? Opinions?

2007-10-22 23:52:11 · 6 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

...you can show them stone cold proof that they're not!...?

2007-10-22 23:47:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If so, what do you think? What about a preview of next week's episode when she claims she's not giving out chains since she thinks the guys are getting too violent. Opinions?

2007-10-22 23:46:06 · 4 answers · asked by cats 7 in Reality Television

BRILLIANT Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a nut.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

2007-10-22 23:45:27 · 10 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I have no idea how I could possibly offend anyone by asking who wants pizza.

2007-10-22 23:44:51 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Yeah I do and at times I get so bored!

2007-10-22 23:43:45 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the
wife into his office alone.

He said,"Your husband is suffering
from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely DIE!!!"

"Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he's in a good mood.

For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him it will only make his stress worse.

Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.

Encourage him to watch some type
of sporting event on T.V. And most importantly make love with your husband several times a week,
and satisfy his every whim."

"If you can do this for 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

She replied, "He said you're gonna die."

2007-10-22 23:42:50 · 17 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

You know those mornings, that you can't stand yourself??

2007-10-22 23:42:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

As long as you say yes you are a great mate. the minute you say no you are all the bad names that can be thought up.
We owned a shop for 4 years and stupidly gave people credit. when we could no longer afford to do so we were evil.. As long as you say yes you are wonderful. Valuable lesson in that

2007-10-22 23:40:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display,
and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies,
"Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a12 pack. With a sigh
and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March......."

2007-10-22 23:39:28 · 12 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Do you know why women are called housekeepers?..... After the divorce they keep the house.

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.

Men are like bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like the weather.
Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like blenders.
You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like department stores.
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like government bonds.
They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

2007-10-22 23:37:23 · 30 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

how many?

explain?

2007-10-22 23:36:49 · 29 answers · asked by Party Boy 3 in Polls & Surveys

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

2007-10-22 23:33:47 · 9 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this Christmas
season.

This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capital.

There was no problem, however, finding enough a asses to fill the stable.

2007-10-22 23:31:56 · 14 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles

im bored out of my mind im ganna die and i still have 2 1/2 more hours

2007-10-22 23:31:42 · 8 answers · asked by Christa_420 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-22 23:29:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

(1.) Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
(2.) A day without sunshine is like, night.
(3.) On the other hand, you have different fingers.
(4.) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
(5.) 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
(6.) I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
(7.) Honk if you love peace and quiet.
(8.) Remember, half the people you know are below average.
(9.) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
(10.) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
(11.) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
(12.) I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
(13.) Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
(14.) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
(15.) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
(16.) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
(17.) Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
(18.) Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
(19.) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
(20.) How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
(21.) OK, so what's the speed of dark?
(22.) How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
(23.) When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
(24.) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
(25.) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
(26.) I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
(27.) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
(28.) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
(29.) Smile, it gives your mouth somthing to do.

2007-10-22 23:28:20 · 7 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-22 23:27:44 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-22 23:25:40 · 3 answers · asked by Antwuan (Giants Superbowl XLVI Champs!!!) 7 in Other - Music

A grandfather finds an earthworm in his garden.
His grandson sees him struggling to get it back in its hole.
He ran into the house and comes back with his grandmother's hairspray, sprays the worm and it become hard and stiff and he pushes it back in the hole. "Wow, how do you know that?" asks his grandpa. "Learned at school" he replies.

The next day his grandpa gives him 10 bucks. "What for? I just helped putting the soft earthworm in the hole." " I know" said the grandpa with a big smile on his face.

"It's from your grandma!"

2007-10-22 23:23:15 · 8 answers · asked by zorro 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Reasons of your choice please :)

I would love a sugar daddy , older men are more loving i think and know hot to take care of a girl .
Younger guys , its all about s3x .

2007-10-22 23:22:56 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-22 23:22:46 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !!

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.

After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks !! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...

2007-10-22 23:22:15 · 14 answers · asked by Sparky 5 in Jokes & Riddles