Entertainment & Music - 23 October 2007

Mine does for the most part.

2007-10-23 02:57:59 · 42 answers · asked by Random 3 in Polls & Surveys

you mooned someone?

2007-10-23 02:57:58 · 20 answers · asked by nickson faction 7 in Polls & Surveys

There were these three guys outside of a bar. There was a black guy, a white guy, and a chinese guy. They all had been in the bar before and saw this gorgious women.

Well they made a bet to see who could make the woman scream.

The black guy goes in a comes out and the women is laughing, and then the white guys goes in, well after he comes out she is laughing even harder.

The chinese guy goes in and a after a few minutes she is screaming bloody murder. Then he comes out, and the other two guys said how did you do that, and the chinese guy goes "Me chinese, me play trick, me put hot sauce on my d*i*c*k!"

2007-10-23 02:57:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine This is the actual answering machine message for the school.
This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
*If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country."

2007-10-23 02:57:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

It's freeeeeeeezing here in West Yorkshire.

How is it for you?

2007-10-23 02:57:23 · 42 answers · asked by Kirsty 7 in Polls & Surveys

THANK YOU

2007-10-23 02:57:17 · 4 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4 in Other - Music

2007-10-23 02:56:46 · 13 answers · asked by Delhington 1 in Movies

> > At a Biology class, the teacher asked the class:
> > "Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow
> taller than guys?"
> > A student replied: "That's because guys have balls
> and that weighs them down."
> > Teacher: "Then why is that at maturity, guys tend
> to grow taller than gals?"
> > Student: "That's because gals have breasts and
> they are heavier than the guy's balls."


hahaHa star if you like it!! thanks!

2007-10-23 02:56:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

A public toilet has a sign that reads:

OUR AIM IS TO KEEP THIS BATHROOM CLEAN

GENTLEMEN: Your aim will help. Stand closer, it's shorter than you think.

LADIES: Please remain seated for the entire performance.

2007-10-23 02:56:05 · 11 answers · asked by deandra56 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.

Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.

Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.

So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?

Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh … did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?

Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.

Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.

In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.

Just how big were those two beers?

No sir we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.

You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.

2007-10-23 02:55:50 · 15 answers · asked by **mum to a little miracle** 4 in Jokes & Riddles

A man goes into a cafe and say's to the man behind the
counter.Can you do a breakfast my way.HE said of course whats
your way? well he said" can i have the egg hard its got to
be so hard you can bounce it like a ball.The bacon has got
to be crisp,so when you put your fork in it it springs all
around the room. The chips have got to be soggy but really
soggy.And the beans have got to be hot at the top,warm in
middle,and burnt underneath.
The man behind the counter say's i haven't got time to do
that.
And the man say's you FU*KING found time yesterday

2007-10-23 02:55:19 · 11 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-23 02:54:57 · 4 answers · asked by soulchild 1 in R&B & Soul

I'm feeling serious love tonight for blue/green with little flowers................

2007-10-23 02:53:28 · 20 answers · asked by sleepy 4 in Polls & Surveys

I don't, i have no use for it. you put it on your finger and it sparkles in the sun. It holds no real value, because once out of the jewerly store you can't get what u paid for it, out of it until its considered an antique. i don't need a giant diamond to prove my hubby loves me.

2007-10-23 02:53:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

There is an animal surrounded by six other animals- An iguana, a snake, a monkey, a cougar, a unicorn, and a newt. What animal is in the middle, and why?

A- Lizard
B- Gorilla
C- Mongoose
D- Walrus

First one with the correct answer WITH explanation gets the 10 points.

(Star me if you're stumped)

2007-10-23 02:51:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

especially when you have to be independent and face to a harsh reality of work as well?

2007-10-23 02:50:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2007-10-23 02:50:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Is that wrong for someone to do???

2007-10-23 02:49:58 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

> > "Mum, can I ask you something?"
> > "Sure! What about?"
> > "You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's
> just proper that I should own one."
> > "And what is this 'one' you're referring to?"
> > "Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?"
> > "No."
> > "But my nipples are already prominent and it
> catches attention."
> > "Nope."
> > "It will be just proper at my age..."
> > "I said no way...!"
> > "But all of my friends wear......!"
> > "David! How many times must I tell you that bras
> are for girls!?"


star if you like!

2007-10-23 02:49:13 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-23 02:48:21 · 13 answers · asked by kk loves richie sambora 6 in Polls & Surveys

he works nights and I work days. We only spend the weekend together if he is not working.
PLZ help P&S.

2007-10-23 02:46:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:45:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:45:38 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:44:10 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:43:53 · 10 answers · asked by comet girl...DUCK! 6 in Polls & Surveys

Reality show Are u going to watch it? Me and my mum are cant wait iam big fans of torvill and dean.

2007-10-23 02:42:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Reality Television

2007-10-23 02:42:09 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:41:14 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

My husband has his entire inside of his truck plastered with "Naughty" pics of me for all to see......

2007-10-23 02:40:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 02:39:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys