Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.
Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.
So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh … did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.
The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.
Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
Just how big were those two beers?
No sir we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.
2007-10-23 02:55:50 · 15 answers · asked by **mum to a little miracle** 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL
niiiice
starred
2007-10-23 03:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by ThePoloHole 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-10-23 03:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny lol
2007-10-23 05:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good
2007-10-23 03:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not funny - I've heard cops actually use these!
2007-10-23 03:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anti theist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i got my DUI the cop said "we're like football players... we like to have fun but on the field we're all business"
2007-10-23 03:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by AlexB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the last one hurts for some people, OUCH
lol
2007-10-23 12:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These actually sound believable.
2007-10-23 03:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by Marcus M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you an 11. LMAO. lol.
2007-10-23 11:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by larry m♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehehe
2007-10-23 03:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋