Entertainment & Music - 23 October 2007

Please join us in remembering another great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described D/boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. D/boy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was a roll model for millions. D/boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John D and Jane D plus they had one in the oven. funeral at 3.50 for 20 mins!!

2007-10-23 23:22:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."============ For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house Is £280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front Door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard youTelling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage & no bike!"

2007-10-23 23:22:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-23 23:21:12 · 34 answers · asked by ~ Girl ~ Anonymous 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 23:19:00 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 23:18:16 · 8 answers · asked by Thomas Jefferson 1 in Comedy

comon..let's ave a laugh...

2007-10-23 23:17:38 · 22 answers · asked by Fluffy ♥ 4 in Polls & Surveys

like me? :(

2007-10-23 23:17:20 · 34 answers · asked by ~ Girl ~ Anonymous 3 in Polls & Surveys

its called bleeding

2007-10-23 23:15:44 · 9 answers · asked by shell 5 in Other - Music

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

2007-10-23 23:15:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

http://uk.yahoo.com/r/ty/17/tt


...anyone gonna try it...?

2007-10-23 23:14:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Reality Television

2007-10-23 23:13:31 · 24 answers · asked by † Iríšh † 7 in Polls & Surveys

or know someone who does?

2007-10-23 23:12:12 · 31 answers · asked by ⓑⓐⓨⓢⓐ ™ 6 in Polls & Surveys

What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of memory.
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk.

Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus? A terminal illness.

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord

2007-10-23 23:10:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

What would it be???????

2007-10-23 23:10:05 · 30 answers · asked by shirley e 7 in Polls & Surveys

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn't know what costume she'd be wearing, she thought she'd have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't around.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe who had just arrived.

She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and they did it all! Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said "Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "You know, I didn't dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But I'll tell you...from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

2007-10-23 23:09:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I shrunk myself down to an inch tall and you find me running across your bedroom floor. What would you do?

2007-10-23 23:08:20 · 11 answers · asked by ripstang3000 3 in Polls & Surveys

Our Hard Drive

Which art internal

Volume C by name;

Thy code be clean,

Thy fonts be seen

On screen as they are on paper.

Give us this day our documents,

And lead us not into fragmentation

But deliver us our data.

For thine is the SCSI,

And the EISA, and the NuBus,

Forever and Ever,

Amen.

2007-10-23 23:07:57 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

when one of his field hands comes running in, and shouts, "Seamus, Seamus, i was down in the field there and all your cows have bluetongue!" Seamus replies, "what? I never knew they had mobiles!"

2007-10-23 23:05:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

to catch me when I fall?

2007-10-23 23:04:50 · 35 answers · asked by Dizzy Miss Lizzie 2 in Polls & Surveys

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.

How do you make a witch stew?
Keep her waiting for hours.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
He's mist.

What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer.

What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference?
Pumpkin Pi.

What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A wash-and-werewolf.

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.

What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.

Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
His ghoul friend.

Where do vampires live?
In the Vampire State Building.

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.

Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical.

What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north.

What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.

Where do little ghosts learn to yell "BOO!"?
In noisery school.

What does a goblin shop for?
Grosseries.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.

What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.

Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience?
She had to give a screech.

What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
Lemon n' Slime.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
By scareplane.

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
By witchful thinking.

What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Creepies.

Why did the witch's mail rattle?
It was a chain letter.

2007-10-23 23:04:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-23 23:02:53 · 38 answers · asked by † Iríšh † 7 in Polls & Surveys

Pete walks into a store. He says to the salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper."

She says, "What color?"

He says, "Give me white. I'll color it myself."

2007-10-23 23:00:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

when adding contacts, is there a limit as to how many you can have?

2007-10-23 23:00:29 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 23:00:27 · 2 answers · asked by babysister 2 in Celebrities

2007-10-23 22:59:22 · 32 answers · asked by Dhiraj..(DJ) 4 in Polls & Surveys

Well, did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget.

Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He couldn't finish the last movement.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.

Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player?
He wanted to buy a bowel.

Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?

If you're an American when you go into the bathroom, and an American when you come out, what are you when you're in the bathroom?
Eur-o-pean.

2007-10-23 22:58:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!

2007-10-23 22:57:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-23 22:56:56 · 55 answers · asked by Dreaming♥ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-23 22:56:30 · 17 answers · asked by Novella (again) 3 in Polls & Surveys

Each run seperately towards the pool and the last thing they say before jumping into the pool, will be inside the pool as they dive in.

The Frenchman runs and the last word he says is wine, et vöila, he is swimming in wine.....

The German runs and the last word he says is beer, and he is swiming in beer........

The American goes extra far back and starts sprinting towards the pool, and just as he wants to jump he trips and says Shiiit

Oh well....poor guy

2007-10-23 22:55:46 · 5 answers · asked by ricci M 3 in Jokes & Riddles