Entertainment & Music - 14 January 2007

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a long hard look at herself.
"You know dear," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is wrinkled, my boobs barely clear my waist and my ar*e is sagging. I've got fat legs and my arms are flabby. Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He says, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
<><><>
After a night out, a man brings his mates back to show off his new house.
The visitors are perplexed by a large gong in the lounge.
One says, "What's that big brass gong for?"
The host says, "That's my Talking clock."
The guest says, "How does it work?"
The host says, "I'll show you", and gives the gong an ear-shattering blow with an unpadded hammer.
A woman's voice from upstairs screams, "For f***s sake, it's twenty to two in the f*****g morning!"
<><><>

2007-01-14 10:08:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

What is the best movie you've ever seen? And why?

2007-01-14 10:08:17 · 14 answers · asked by Lyra 1 in Movies

3 ⤊

What's the best bass line ever?

In your opinion, of course, it's a completely subjective question

2007-01-14 10:07:56 · 26 answers · asked by empanda 3 in Music

5 ⤊

what do you use to poke the fire?

2007-01-14 10:07:56 · 20 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

First thing that comes to mind when I say.........?

1)Rawr
2)gorgeous
3)teeth
4)lips
5)crazy
6)weird

one that makes me laugh the hardest wins!

2007-01-14 10:07:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

9 ⤊

A Riddle -- What did the rooster have to pay to join the Chicken Society?

2007-01-14 10:07:07 · 32 answers · asked by Richard 7 in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

Do you get happy or sad when you see someone that you haven't seen in a month and it felt like 1 year?

2007-01-14 10:06:58 · 14 answers · asked by Luis 4 in Polls & Surveys

6 ⤊

read the about me part of my profile.thanks! tell me what you think!?

you like or dislike? should i change it or keep it the same? is it to long?

2007-01-14 10:06:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1 ⤊

Vietnam, 30 years ago, Joke?

I am hispanic and while on a 3 man patrol with my black buddy and my white sergeant, we had gotten ambushed by a VC platoon and captured. It was early in the Vietnam war and prisoners of war were not a big item. Anyway, the VC commander said , if we could show him 15 inches of pecker between us he would let us go. Well my black buddy pulled his pecker out for 9 inches, then my white sergeant pulled his out for 5 inches and I pulled mine out for 1 inch. True to his word, the VC commander released us. As we were heading back to our lines, my black buddy said, "You're lucky us brothers have long peckers." Then my white Sergeant, said, "Well, my 5 inches counted too." Then I told both of them. "You're both lucky I had a hard on."

2007-01-14 10:06:18 · 2 answers · asked by Big C 6 in Jokes & Riddles

2 ⤊

Best Band of all time form any genre?

2007-01-14 10:06:02 · 14 answers · asked by phatpat4321 2 in Music

0 ⤊

When will clark and lois get together?

2007-01-14 10:05:47 · 6 answers · asked by Helloi 1 in Comics & Animation

0 ⤊

Is Hawk Nelson A good Band?

wooohooo

2007-01-14 10:05:43 · 2 answers · asked by :D 1 in Music

0 ⤊

How do super skinny girls have amazing calves like that?

I was looking at pics of super skinny celebrities, such as, Nicole Ritchie, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton, Kate Bosworth and such, and I noticed that even though they are super skinny they have these well shaped, thick calves (and legs), how do they do it???

Because I used to think I couldn't get them because I was skinny, but now that I've gained weight I've still have this skinny, embarrasing, tooth-pick-like legs!

2007-01-14 10:05:39 · 12 answers · asked by Sunna 1 in Celebrities

0 ⤊