All categories - 14 July 2006

i dont think its rite 4 people 2 cheat cause....its wrong 2 find out that ya man or your girl is cheating on u with ya best friend ro sister or brother.........its so wrong and i doont think its fair................would u cheat with ya girl/boyfriend with thier best friend,sister,or brother

2006-07-14 08:42:43 · 12 answers · asked by sweets_1 g 1 in Singles & Dating

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make
sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. (yep..guilty)

WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER -- A colleague who poos at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees

2006-07-14 08:42:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

The reason why I ask is because you hear all these politicians saying that if we had a guest worker program, Mexicans could work for a few years then take their money back to Mexico. PROBLEM IS: if the majority of Mexican laborers are already planting roots here in the U.S., what makes our politicians think that under a new Guest Worker Program those same Mexicans would return home. Yes there are some advantages because most of the illegal residents will be able to come out of the shadows and have their wages taxed properly so that they can contribute to social services. And what happens when it's time for those one or two million "guest workers" to go back home? This part of the proposed immigration bill doesn't seem like it would work and before we know it we'll be back to square one.

2006-07-14 08:42:30 · 23 answers · asked by baq2calli 2 in Immigration

2006-07-14 08:42:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

DVC on another question:
"I would not vote for ANY ATHEIST for anything.Not even a janitor
in a subway toilet..
If you are not responsible enough to go into the Military and help to protect your rights you should not have any rights.
You can not even get a good job if it is known that you are an atheist.
I personally would not protect you from a dog catcher. "

Atheists can't get a job? Why am I at work then?? Screw this I'm leaving.

2006-07-14 08:42:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

KISS COMPLAINT!!! now where has the world come to when a vicar who gives a 10 yr old in front of parents and teachers a KISS on the forehead and he has to submit his resignitation, give me a break!!

2006-07-14 08:42:17 · 14 answers · asked by womam12 5 in Family

IT HAS A DIFFERENT FACE ON IT THAN THE CURRENT DIME.. AND AROUND THE COIN IT SAYS "LIBERTY", AND THE BACK OF THE COIN IT HAS LIKE A TREE BRANCH AND A LOG, AND AROUND THE COIN )ON THE BACK IT SAYS "UNITED SATES OF AMERICA ONE DIME" AND THEN A SMALL SAYING "EPLURIBUS UNUM"" HAS IT ANY VALUE OF SOME SORT

2006-07-14 08:42:08 · 10 answers · asked by lady44 2 in Government

2006-07-14 08:41:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Fashion & Accessories

2006-07-14 08:41:54 · 35 answers · asked by Hibernating Ladybird 4 in Other - Arts & Humanities

2006-07-14 08:41:54 · 17 answers · asked by Patrick N 2 in Men's Health

I heard that when children pick their nose it help them health wise. Their body reacts in a way to protect them from getting anything . It builds up immunities.

2006-07-14 08:41:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Health

They may sweat but not as much as I do.

2006-07-14 08:41:51 · 7 answers · asked by Curiosity 1 in Skin & Body

This might be a silly question....lol
I am 15 yrs old
Also do u know any website where I can read books?

2006-07-14 08:41:47 · 26 answers · asked by tejas_fundo 3 in Books & Authors

can u give me some good html for my website?

2006-07-14 08:41:47 · 11 answers · asked by Micro Man 1 in Internet

Enjoying Life?

2006-07-14 08:41:46 · 10 answers · asked by sinsubz 2 in Other - Health

If Humans ever do discover another planet that we can live on how would we get thier in time without dying or running food and other supplies? anyone have any Ideas for Space ships like how they should be built? Should they farms and Animals on them?

2006-07-14 08:41:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Astronomy & Space

What is the fastest rate of fall?

2006-07-14 08:41:40 · 6 answers · asked by el capitan 1 in Physics

2006-07-14 08:41:39 · 12 answers · asked by man eater 1 in Internet

I have addressed your requests for information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000, below:

Position/Directorate £
Mayor of Londons 115,793
London Assembly Members 49,266
Corporate Services Directorate* 7,299,000
Finance and Performance Directorate* 3,872,000
Mayor's Office Directorate* 6,342,000
Media and Marketing Directorate* 2,378,000
Policy and Performance Directorate* 6,339,000
Secretariat* 5,489,000
Total of running the london QUANGO! £31,884,059 per year
and the money to built the mayors offices! how can an eduacted population even go to vote for a mayor? when there were organisations dealing with the managing london?GOD. its so easy to fool educated people! And hey we trust the politicians?

2006-07-14 08:41:33 · 3 answers · asked by navinsohanpal 1 in Politics

the usa gov ,UN they all are worried about 1 soldier kidnaped in gaza and 2 in lebnan, what about 12,ooo arab civilians in isrealis jail ,they dont wanna give them back ,dont reply to UN decisions ,they dont give a dam about anything
all what they care is to kill civilians on gaza and drop forbidden bombs on their head in gaza ,destory infrasturctures in lebanan and gaza
NOONE in the ( civilized ) world care ? why such double standard ?
dont care when a whole family killed while they were sleeping at their home and do all that for a soldier not even a civilian
this soldier was in occupied land ,shoot civilians ??
PLZ dont say that they are the choosen ppl . we all humans ,isrealis are not superhumans
arent civilians in isreal like civilians in gaza and lebnan?
or our arabic blood is cheaper then theirs??

2006-07-14 08:41:33 · 13 answers · asked by maryam 2 in Military

HELP

2006-07-14 08:41:31 · 11 answers · asked by Teeeheee 2 in Other - Pregnancy & Parenting

2006-07-14 08:41:26 · 13 answers · asked by ray d 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Well, I had secured a horse for myself, but as it turns out, he has a tendon injury. I was in the middle of making preparations to bring him to NJ, but now I am very concerned about his prognosis. He has had swelling in his front right tendon for about a month now with no real improvement. The person that owns him right now doesnt know very much about how to care for a horse in this condition. Should I move on and find a more suitable horse for myself?

2006-07-14 08:41:23 · 9 answers · asked by wolfgirl 2 in Other - Pets

As a kid I saw a tten wreck his motorcycle and slide on his face almost to my feet, basically lost his nose.

A truck passed me at 75, a dog was tied to the back bouncing and dragging down the road.

2006-07-14 08:41:16 · 13 answers · asked by anonacoup 7 in Other - Society & Culture

i am light skin,race is black,long hair and it is mine,keep my self tight as in stay keeping hair done nails done and toes done.in other words u can call me bad ***** ,hazel eyes[not contacts]smooth skin cause i can not b bumed all up that is not 4 me smooth skin 4rm head 2 toe

2006-07-14 08:41:09 · 9 answers · asked by Toya A 1 in Fashion & Accessories

2006-07-14 08:41:07 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Me and my bf have been having sex since we were 16 and now we are 26 and I have seen a drastic change in the thickness of his semen.when he was 16 he was more watery and now it's more thicker and also lessser in quantity. Does this mean his semen is better than when he was 16? The penis also gets more red while we have sex or when he is aroused.Do all these changes come with age ? and is it good to have thicker semen?

2006-07-14 08:40:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Men's Health

If so, why?

I have 3 boys and they are all intact, perfect as they came into this world. My husband is circumcized but i don't care. A lot of mothers circ their poor boys to "look like dad". If your sons go around looking at dads penis then you have very disturbed young men..lol. Also a lot of moms leave the decision up to the father. WHY?? My boys have never cared that they are intact and their dad isn't. And i asked my 16 yr old if he gets made fun at school and he said "Mom come on, if somebody looks at my penis in school i just ask him if he likes it"

I think a lot of parents circ for no particular reason and also for not being informed. They just do what they are told which is pretty pathetic. Also a lot say that it's cleaner. Um, you should learn to properly clean a penis as well as a vagina if you have a girl. It's part of being a parent. I think it's laziness and so unnecessary. Unless there is a medical reason boys should be left perfect.

2006-07-14 08:40:56 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Newborn & Baby