I have a little problem. You see, I have been going out with my girlfriend now for a year and two months, and I love her with all of my heart, as she does me. But when we first started dating, we had a couple of milestones to set. She was a virgin, but she fooled around with her friends – who were female. There were two of them, and one of them always tried to seduce her whenever she got the chance. For the first few months of our relationship, we all fooled around together. In essence, it was a foursome. I couldn’t complain. But it started to change when she said she didn’t want to stop since it was going on since before me. I said that it was ok, and the next time she slept over at the other friends’ house, they fooled around. Now, fooling around – just for the records – means fingering and cunnilingus, as well as just “fooling around”. You know, experimenting or whatever. She told me of this, and I felt betrayed and sad. I don’t know if I did it to test her or be nice, but I didn’t like what happened. Especially since her friends could make her come but I couldn’t. There were a few times when we all masturbated in the same room, and one of the last times was the hardest because I was starting to really dislike it, because I love her so much. My girlfriend’s sister was there a few of the times as well. She has heard me and seen me – all of me – and so has my girlfriend’s friends. On my 18th birthday, someone had the idea to play spin the bottle. I was the only guy there, with the exception of a friend – and ex-short-time-boyfriend of my girlfriend’s. So we played, even though I really didn’t want to. In total, there were 5 girls and 2 boys. I should have felt lucky. Maybe I did. Until the game progressed, and my girlfriend started biting, making out with, and doing erotic things to her ex-boyfriend. Now mind you, I had kissed her best friend, but not to this caliber. I had kissed her sister a few times, just lightly. But when I saw that, I needed revenge. The bottle landed on her best friend – who had wanted to go out with me before, but I chose my girl instead – and I can’t help but think I influenced it to land there. When it did, I leaned in and viciously made out with her, and did some other things a few times – like kissing the chest, nibbling the ear, you know – romantic/erotic stuff. My girlfriend gave me a look that could have killed a lesser man. But when we realized what was going on, and the bottle landed on my girlfriend the next time, I tackled her and she loved it. She tackled me back, too. But when I had kissed her friends all those times – and all were known to like me, except her sister (whom I had suspicions about – but she didn’t even kiss back), I liked it at the time. The friends loved it, and my girlfriend bragged about me being a good kisser. But that night was the end of it. Before, she was talking to her ex-boyfriend about covering him in chocolate and licking it off, and doing a bunch of nasty stuff – and it was my birthday. I sat in the laundry room, depressed. She said she was speaking for her friend that liked him, like she was the friend – but that’s just not something to say, especially on your boyfriends birthday, and at the party. But after that, she didn’t fool around with her friends anymore, and neither did I. She promised me that she would stop, and I was happy. There was one incident where her friend kissed her (I heard it) and she said she kissed her for a minute before feeling like it was wrong, then she backed off and distracted her friend with her breasts before turning her over to her other friend, who were all sleeping together – and still do, sometimes. I ask her about this now, and she barely remembers kissing her then, regardless of how long she did. That friend still tries to seduce her, but she never gives in anymore. I don’t want her to sleep over at her house anymore, either. But the time passed, and the last incident was in the fifth month of our relationship, but I started becoming obsessed. Here is where the problem starts. I don’t know what it comes from, either wanting revenge or the memory of before, or even something like cabin fever – since I’m stuck at home every day without a license. But I started becoming obsessed with her best friend – who doesn’t really look better than my girlfriend, but has a nicer toned body – and her sister, who is a year younger than her. I don’t know what to do. I have tried everything, it seems, but its like the thought won’t go away, and its not even a real thought. Her sister has given me some signs of liking me, and I can’t help but notice and be attracted. She does weird stuff – flirty stuff – like backing into me in the hall when we walk down it, sticking her butt out. She kicks me in the butt constantly, gives me the “look” sometimes and sometimes I can feel that when we are sitting or standing close to each other, she means to be so close and tries to get closer. Once, she was kneeling on the floor facing me and my girlfriend (who were sitting together on the couch). There was an entertainment center behind her, with all sorts of reflective surfaces. She pulled the back of her pants down, not affecting the front, and scratched at something for a second – which I caught in the reflection – and then she glanced quickly at me, kind of telling me that she meant for me to see. Just the other day I was helping her with her myspace, and she started kicking me in the butt, and I kneed her in hers. It was all in fun, but it felt like more. Then, she tried to get all up in my face – which I was scratching – and she ran into my hand. As she did this, I felt her lips sort of kiss it. I just looked at her as she looked at me, and smiled. Then I was sitting at the computer later, and she came over and sat on my lap. My hand was under her for a second, but I extracted it slowly and put it to the side of her, kind of on her leg. She got up a minute later. Stuff like this is just driving me crazy, because I never used to have real friends, and my mother never mothered me. She tried, but she never loved me like a mother should. I never hug her, let alone kiss her, just because I never did. I wish I could and feel ok though, because I feel like I missed something. But I don’t know if this is just like a friend thing, a sisterly love thing, or if she is interested in me – because lately, I have been more and more obsessed and attracted to her and my girlfriend’s friend – the one I made out with. I’m not planning anything, and I don’t want anything to happen, but I can’t help but fantasize sometimes. I never want to be with anyone else but my girl, and I would never cheat on her. But this stuff is getting to me and distracting me from her. Not that anything would happen, but you know the deal. What should I do? I want the wanting to stop.
2007-02-27
15:02:01
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12 answers
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asked by
Anonymous