Entertainment & Music - 23 September 2007

2007-09-23 21:56:53 · 26 answers · asked by Johnny the Pooh 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-23 21:56:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i like hearing the traps go snap...

2007-09-23 21:56:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

it monday and am feeling a bit low after the weekend as i am just a bit run down with a cold achoo!!!!! and need a really good laugh sniff sniff any joke will be accepected with the best one winning 10ponits of course !!!!!

2007-09-23 21:55:47 · 12 answers · asked by Mike 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-09-23 21:55:47 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

2007-09-23 21:54:11 · 28 answers · asked by NEILISA **Shane's Mama** 6 in Polls & Surveys

since you do know it all?

2007-09-23 21:52:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-23 21:52:32 · 13 answers · asked by nitro 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-23 21:52:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-23 21:51:46 · 16 answers · asked by nitro 1 in Polls & Surveys

**this is not the popular Asia song** beginning of the song starts with "in the heat of the moment, in the eyes of the sun, in the heat of the moment, see the bullets in the gun"

2007-09-23 21:51:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Rock and Pop

**TEACHER: "CAN ANYBODY GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF COINCIDENCE"

JOHNNY: "MADAM' MY MOM N DAD GOT MARRIED ON SAME DAY SAME TIME"



**TEACHER: GEORGE, GO TO THE STAFF ROOM AND BRING THE MAP

GEORGE: "HERE IT IS"

TEACHER: NOW FIND WHERE IS AMERICA ?
AND TEACHER TO JOHNNY

TEACHER: NOW JOHNNY, WHO DISCOVER AMERICA
JOHNNY: "GEORGE"






**JOHN:"DOCTOR,I AM SO WORRIED, I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF".

DOCTOR : "DON'T WORRY. JUST LEAVE THAT TO ME.







**THE HUSBAND ENTERS THE KITCHEN AND OPENS THE SUGAR BOX. HE LOOKS INSIDE AND CLOSES IT. WIFE OBSERVES THE WHOLE EPISODE . AGAIN HE COMES IN AND DOES THE SAME.

WIFE ASKS: "Y R U DOING THIS?"

HUSBAND REPLIES: "DOCTOR TOLD ME TO CHECK THE SUGAR LEVEL REGULARLY.

2007-09-23 21:50:12 · 26 answers · asked by risker4you 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-09-23 21:49:57 · 13 answers · asked by What'd You Say? 6 in Polls & Surveys

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."

2007-09-23 21:49:16 · 9 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

2007-09-23 21:48:42 · 10 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients:

1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

2007-09-23 21:48:03 · 8 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.

One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"

Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."

2007-09-23 21:47:08 · 10 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Hi there it's actually a hooded cloak for monks ("of course ..." I hear you say - "... I knew that!!!")

Well I think it sounds more like Shakespeare's maths - what do you reckon??

2007-09-23 21:46:26 · 9 answers · asked by Joe 6 in Polls & Surveys

I know it is lame but what do you think of my icon?

2007-09-23 21:45:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

2007-09-23 21:45:29 · 14 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-09-23 21:44:58 · 8 answers · asked by daniellex111 2 in Polls & Surveys

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.

Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.

I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

2007-09-23 21:43:43 · 9 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

and do you read your horoscope?

2007-09-23 21:43:24 · 29 answers · asked by What'd You Say? 6 in Polls & Surveys

Aaaaarrr go on

2007-09-23 21:43:04 · 29 answers · asked by Sir Reginald Whiskers 3 in Polls & Surveys

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

"I souport publik edekasion"

"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy."

2007-09-23 21:42:46 · 10 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

i like yahoo answers more

2007-09-23 21:40:57 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

and why exactly?

(As I have been hearing that the more "interesting" users are no longer here, so was wondering who they were before)

2007-09-23 21:39:57 · 22 answers · asked by ????????? 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-23 21:39:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Most of you may know my last question about my hot date, but it got deleted. Then I thought, what low-life would bother to report it? Isn't P&S a place of fun?

2007-09-23 21:35:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

even tho i have a mustache' :---}o

2007-09-23 21:33:59 · 21 answers · asked by Yvonne 4 in Polls & Surveys