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Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

2007-09-23 21:45:29 · 14 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

14 answers

Nice one, worth a star.

2007-09-24 01:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0 0

Publish those in Annales Physicae Felinae Henceforth, that should be in the curriculum for all cat owners - to understand and put to application the Skybluecarp's laws of feline physics.

2016-04-05 22:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I really liked it Frank babe!! The one however where it says about when they sleep with you they make it uncomfortable for you, well I have to disagree with that. See I have 4 and 2 of them always sleep with me,well at least one or the other, and they are the most comfortable to sleep with, hey at least they don't snore!!! lol

2007-09-24 04:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0 0

brilliant, i love it. but what about the law of cat diet. A cat will only eat food that it's accustomed to, any variation and it sniff at it from a distance of18inches glare at you and stalk away.

2007-09-23 22:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by will ing 2 · 0 0

Like my mom always said... Dogs have owners, but cats have staff.

2007-09-23 22:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by rdrnnr1972 5 · 0 0

lol every single one is sooo true! couldnt stop thinking about my own cat doing those things!

2007-09-24 00:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Very Good -- I can't wait to send it to my sister who has ownership of the cat to whom you refer!

(Actually, I should say, the cat to whom you refer, has ownership of my sister; she ALLOWS my sister to live with her! lol)

2007-09-23 21:58:44 · answer #7 · answered by sheek Txn 5 · 0 0

long...

but worth reading *gg*

2007-09-24 02:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Nova 6 · 0 0

catty chee .lol

2007-09-24 00:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 0 0

hahaha
funnny

2007-09-24 01:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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