it monday and am feeling a bit low after the weekend as i am just a bit run down with a cold achoo!!!!! and need a really good laugh sniff sniff any joke will be accepected with the best one winning 10ponits of course !!!!!
2007-09-23 21:55:47 · 12 answers · asked by Mike 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Posted this one yesterday ... got four stars ... i think its great :)
Husband and WIFE are sitting quietly in bed reading, when the WIFE looks over at him and asks the question.....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
W: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
H: "Of course I do."
W: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
H: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
W: "You would?" (With a hurt look).
H: (GROANS).
W: "Would you live in our house?"
H: "Sure, it's a great house."
W: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
H: "Where else would we sleep?"
W: "Would you let her drive my car?"
H: "Probably, it is almost new."
W: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
H: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
W: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
H: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
W: "Would you take her golfing with you?"
H: "Yes, those are always good times."
W: "Would she use my clubs?
H: "No, she's right-handed."
W: -- silence --
H: "*%&#!!!"
2007-09-23 22:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by Krys 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had
been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet
needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time,
the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to
stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least
three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
2007-09-24 06:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did the 1 handed monster cross the road?
To go to the Second hand shop.
2007-09-24 05:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the two fleas who won the lottery.
They bought a dog in Teneriffe.
2007-09-24 06:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by seasider 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be interested in putting joke on, but before I do I want to know is it worth it? How much is ten Ponits?
2007-09-24 07:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by terrysains 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i heard a joke 2-3 years ago and forgot all about it until i read this thread,,, here it goes:
I am your doctor, ur brain has 2 parts.
your right part has nothing left and ur left part has nothing right
2007-09-24 06:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by Omar a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a man went to the doctors when day and said
"doctor, it's the strangest thing but recently i feel like a moth"
"oh" repiled the doctor "i think you should go and see a shrink"
"well the funny thing is i was on my way to see him but i noticed your lights were on......
2007-09-24 07:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any blonde joke does it for me.
2007-09-24 08:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Widgi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i went to the doctor'ss the other day. he said "i haven't seen you for a while" i said "no, i've been ill!"
2007-09-24 05:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What goes
Yo ho ho, whoosh
Yo ho ho whoosh
Yo ho ho whoosh?
Santa, stuck in a revolving door
2007-09-24 05:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by LONE WOLF 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋