Entertainment & Music - 15 March 2007

RATED PG

Once upon a time,in a far-away land,a Sultan was having tragic thoughts.
He was once a great animal trainer who could make any animal obey him..Untill the day a friend gave him a white elephant.Now,no matter how hard he tried, the big beast wouldn't sit down. He tried everything he knew, to no avail. Finally, he sent for all the greatest men to make the elephant sit. Whoever would succeed would be his heir, and the husband of his daughter.
A Strongman came...He wrestled the beast... He was thrown to the ground!!!
A Prince came...He smoked a big cigar to make the elephant dizzy,,,He went home with lung cancer.
Then, a farmer came! He stepped up to the beast and whispered something...suddenly, the elephant sat down with a mighty THUD!!!
Surprised, the sultan asked him what he told the elephant...
The farmer replied, "Well, sire, I simply told him that if he didn't sit down, I'd kick him in the nuts!!!"




To those that hate jokes, tell me why you read this.

2007-03-15 00:36:21 · 14 answers · asked by Gamer_Nikko™ 4 in Jokes & Riddles

Did they announce who the guest performer is going to be next week for the top 11? If so, who is it?

2007-03-15 00:35:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. I am hungry = I am hungry
5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
6. I am thirsty = I need a beer
7. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
8. I love you = Let's have sex now
9. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question?
11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

2007-03-15 00:34:52 · 30 answers · asked by *BURNY* 5 in Jokes & Riddles

what happened at the very end I got up to the part when they found the third body.

2007-03-15 00:34:26 · 5 answers · asked by purplepurp21 1 in Television

I am looking for ceiling decorations with a 21 on for my birthday party in June, roughly about 7ft long in a kind of foil material. Any one know where i can find one/some.

All answers greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance xxx

2007-03-15 00:33:47 · 4 answers · asked by ♥ Jodi ♥ Kaydi's Mummy ♥ 4 in Other - Entertainment

what do you prefer long hair or short hair? I have pretty long hair(just cross the waist,,) and m thinking of cutting them short..not that they are split or something but just like that...whatsay should i go for it?? bt i won't want to regret it later..very confused.

2007-03-15 00:33:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I am a Harry Potter fan of both the books and the movies. (no surprise!) I mean, the books are really a masterpiece and the magic keeps me spellbound. As for the movies, they are good too. But I have become a Harry Potter addict. R u a HP fan or not? In either case, please state the reason for attraction or repulsion.

2007-03-15 00:33:11 · 10 answers · asked by Princess710 1 in Other - Entertainment

From 70's until recently, name a few of your favorite horror movies :) I'd like to see which ones are the most popular just by your standards, not by sales or anything like that.

My favorites (just to name a few): all 3 of the Saw movies *Jigsaw is a mastermind*, House of 1000 Corpses, Stay Alive, all the Friday the 13th movies, the Final Destination Trilogy, The Shining, Silence of the Lambs, the 2 Resident Evil movies, all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, The Amityville Horror (classic and recent), Queen of the Damned and all of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies.

2007-03-15 00:32:57 · 32 answers · asked by Supernatural Fan 3 in Movies

no credits cards or store cards.

about 2 accounts. I don't use checks.

DO You carry limited cash.
Carry no ATM card?
put things on hold then GO back if you really like it?
what techniques do you have that are not well known?

2007-03-15 00:32:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

At first I thought it was me going mental but many people I know remember it too
are we in a timewarp?

2007-03-15 00:31:34 · 10 answers · asked by ms vicci pollard 5 in Music

2007-03-15 00:30:59 · 8 answers · asked by ~ B_e_K_z ~ 5 in Polls & Surveys

The state of mine could only be described at totally offensive. I was considering putting them in my bosses lunch box as an appetizer for him.

2007-03-15 00:30:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-15 00:29:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2007-03-15 00:28:46 · 16 answers · asked by vini 1 in Movies

2007-03-15 00:28:44 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1. Ejaz Khan
2. Rajeev Khandelwal
3. Iqbal khan
4. Ankur Nayyar

2007-03-15 00:28:18 · 12 answers · asked by kothari_abhijit1984 2 in Polls & Surveys

i fancy watching a movie this afternoon, and i have girl interrupted, but never seen it, is it a good movie, worth seeing, would you reccommend it?

2007-03-15 00:27:52 · 16 answers · asked by glittershelly 3 in Movies

I've just found a picture of someone I went to school with, BOY does she look old.

2007-03-15 00:27:35 · 18 answers · asked by Snowth 4 in Music

I actually read the 'Community Guidelines'... I know who hasn't.. well.. Asking: "What Time Is It" is listed as an example of chatting... We're talking about users from a million time zones here.. and this question is considered 'chatting'.. !!!

(So is it morning or afternoon where you live right now..?)

2007-03-15 00:27:00 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

This was the best soap ever! Bring back the Corkhills, Harry Cross and Ralph, the Rogers, the Grants etc. What were some of the other characters in it in the 80s?

2007-03-15 00:25:40 · 13 answers · asked by . 7 in Comics & Animation

Does anyone but me think American Idol is fixed? Sanjaya is still there who obviously can not sing and Brandon was kicked off who could sing. I know they think Sanjaya is cute but this is a singing competition as Simon says and he can not sing!!!

2007-03-15 00:25:24 · 10 answers · asked by Bird lady 4 in Television

2007-03-15 00:24:21 · 25 answers · asked by astra 5 in Music

we have been friends for a long time, and i know she loves me as a person and we are quite close. I love her cause of her quirks and her somewhat strange yet interesting habbits.... however today she acted differently....

I mentioned to her a few days earlier that i had feelings for her, Today - i asked her to meet me at the park - I was there - she was 15 minutes late, she came running and just ran and gave me this big hug and held on to me for a few seconds, then she took my hand and we started aimlessly walking and discussing strange and totaly random things....

I asked abt why she is so detached and why she has not gottten into a relation yet - she said - she's still healing and waiting for someone to get to that point where she knows that it may just be worth her time - she said she is waiting for something to hapen, and cant wait for love to happen again...

I was wondering what this means, as i did not uinderstand it.??
I want to be there? what do u think is happening?

2007-03-15 00:23:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

for an internal DR says to her your still a virgin but been married and widowed 3 times hows that ? woman says 1st hubby was an Astronomer, all he did was stare at it. 2nd hubby was a Psychologist, all he did was talk to it..3rd hubby was a Stamp collector................................................oh i miss him!

2007-03-15 00:23:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-15 00:23:44 · 3 answers · asked by shekhar a 1 in Horoscopes

10 Points!!!

2007-03-15 00:22:17 · 29 answers · asked by ~*~M@rie~*~ 2 in Polls & Surveys

A man knocks on a door, a young boy answers wearing his mums undies and suspenders, a cigarette in one hand, a pint in the other. The man asks " is your mother home", the boy said "does it bloody look like it"

2007-03-15 00:22:05 · 26 answers · asked by buster 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-15 00:22:00 · 4 answers · asked by ms vicci pollard 5 in Music

2007-03-15 00:21:57 · 13 answers · asked by EvelynMine 7 in Polls & Surveys

What is America thinking? Is Sanjaya's hair style keeping him on the show? Surely it's not his "singing"?

2007-03-15 00:21:16 · 9 answers · asked by In Honor of Moja 4 in Television