Entertainment & Music - 9 December 2006

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a priest when I grow up.
"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a priest?"
"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen."

2006-12-09 21:35:24 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

2006-12-09 21:35:13 · 9 answers · asked by ya_face_sux 1 in Jokes & Riddles

Whenever I'm with my special someone, I feel so loved by him that no words could even describe such a feeling.

2006-12-09 21:34:53 · 20 answers · asked by luvmuzic 2 in Polls & Surveys

they are for my 8 year old, so nothing rude please.

2006-12-09 21:34:34 · 12 answers · asked by jayebird 2 in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-09 21:34:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

i am 2 july 1980 born in Sunam(Punjab)
Facing a lot of problems with my job and family these days.
Please let me kno the future and solution if any

2006-12-09 21:33:41 · 5 answers · asked by pinchoo3351 1 in Horoscopes

Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft drink" and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs", and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink".

Pepsi will market the new "concoction" by the name of "Mount & Do".

2006-12-09 21:32:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

at the moment i'm into mann's brown ale in lagers its got to be bud?? hic.

2006-12-09 21:32:32 · 25 answers · asked by Deano™ 7 in Polls & Surveys

i ******* LOVE them. also should i get a hootie and the blowfish tattoo?

2006-12-09 21:32:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.

Guy: ''Who is this?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.
Guy: ''We don't have a maid.''
Woman: ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''
Guy: ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''
Maid: ''Ummm, She’s upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''
The guy is fuming & says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''
The maid says, ''What do I have to do?''
Guy: ''I want you to get my gun from the desk & shoot the ***** & the JERK she's with!!!''
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps & then two shots are heard.
The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''
The man says, ''Dump them in the swimming pool until I get back!''
Maid: ''But you don't have a pool.''
A long pause and the man says, ''Ummm, Is this 567-5309?''

2006-12-09 21:30:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-09 21:29:56 · 3 answers · asked by David 6 in Music

That took my last bit of brain power. Goodnight. Love you all, every last one.

2006-12-09 21:29:40 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If someone were to claim that God talked to them, or God told them to do something we ship them off to the loony bin?

2006-12-09 21:29:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out!

2006-12-09 21:28:37 · 16 answers · asked by english_rose10 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-09 21:28:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

2006-12-09 21:25:43 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Does anybody have a funny joke?

2006-12-09 21:25:30 · 5 answers · asked by Songbird. 1 in Jokes & Riddles

Won't we be flooded with the "what did you get for x-mas?, and - did you get everything you wanted for x-mas?" questions in the near future?

Wouldn't it have been better if all Christmas shopping had been forfeited, and all the monies that were to have been spent was just given to the poor & hungry people from afar who really need it?

2006-12-09 21:24:53 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

The box a penis comes in!

2006-12-09 21:24:16 · 13 answers · asked by Vincent 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU!

2006-12-09 21:22:35 · 3 answers · asked by David 6 in Movies

where would micael jackson go when he dies?
[scroll down for answer]




























to the recycling bin!

2006-12-09 21:21:44 · 9 answers · asked by sarah s 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I'm 18, and I do. Love those scruffy suits they wear from like the 60's and their insights into advanced real analysis!

2006-12-09 21:20:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-09 21:19:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

answer qik and u get 10 points.......

wot is the web site for google

Don't post links - I want full answers only ---- I'm not lazy - this is not my homework -- 200 words or more by Monday 9am -- I'd do it myself but i think i'm pregnant

2006-12-09 21:15:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-09 21:15:27 · 8 answers · asked by ann.wood76@btinternet.com 1 in Celebrities

I don't know much about web programming, but I'm pretty sure that would be feasible.

2006-12-09 21:14:25 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-12-09 21:12:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I once caught a movie late night I think on the USA network. The only scene I remember is a teen age boy is shunken (not sure why) and he ends up in a girl's underwear. He crawls inside her and the scene show the pubic hair and all, the girl is tickled to orgasm and when she orgasms, the boy is washed out of her by her secretion. Anyone know what I am talking about?

2006-12-09 21:12:16 · 4 answers · asked by Jolene 3 in Movies

i am at work right now (on break, of course) and they are playing that "had a bad day" song for only the fifth time today. the aggrivation is instantaneous!

how do i relieve this frustration? should i kick the next guy i see in the nuts, or should i just tear the speakers out of the wall? either one would be immensly satisfying.

2006-12-09 21:11:25 · 13 answers · asked by soren 6 in Music

Zak Wylde/Joe Satriani/Steve Vai/Yngwie Malmstein/

2006-12-09 21:11:01 · 11 answers · asked by Michaellearnstorock 2 in Music