THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES, FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
>>
>> FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
>>hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
>>armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control
>>was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
>>
>>
>>
>> PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
>>lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in
>>her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I
>>would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it
>>was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
>>recent hysterectomy.
>>
>>
>>
>> PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony
>>mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
>>around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the
>>mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The
>>concrete then hardened, (no ****; Sherlock!), causing constipation and
>>pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's
>>rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
>>
>> (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
>>
>>
>>
>> BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
>> of
>>severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they
>>would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
>>help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor
>>examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in
>>at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
>>
>>
>>
>> OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
>>emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
>>hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
>>eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for
>>a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
>>table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the
>>act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the
>>man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation,
>>the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
>>
>> And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!!
>>
>>
>
2006-06-18
16:22:31
·
16 answers
·
asked by
duke4172
3
in
Jokes & Riddles