Can you think of anything to add to this list?

Question

THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES, FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
>>
>> FEMALE SOFA----- A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
>>hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
>>armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control
>>was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
>>
>>
>>
>> PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
>>lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in
>>her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I
>>would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it
>>was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
>>recent hysterectomy.
>>
>>
>>
>> PING PONG ANYONE?----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony
>>mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
>>around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the
>>mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The
>>concrete then hardened, (no ****; Sherlock!), causing constipation and
>>pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's
>>rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
>>
>> (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
>>
>>
>>
>> BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
>> of
>>severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they
>>would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
>>help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor
>>examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in
>>at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
>>
>>
>>
>> OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
>>emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
>>hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
>>eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for
>>a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
>>table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the
>>act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the
>>man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation,
>>the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
>>
>> And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!!
>>
>>
>

Answer 1

ummmm i cant think of a thing

Answer 2

I can relate to the story about the contact lenses. I have worn contact lenses and have done the same thing myself more than once! It is a very easy mistake to make.

As for another story, I take it you are maybe a doctor. One recently graduated doctor/intern told me this one:

When he was a student, members of his class were shown an x-ray of a light bulb in someone's rectum and/or anus. The man x-rayed allegedly was a homosexual and he was deriving some kind of sexual pleasure from the act of insertion. It became lodged there.

How can you explain this, however: Light bulbs are very fragile, and it is easy to break them by squeezing them too hard. How could a light bulb go up someone's anus and rectum without first breaking?

The story, if true, took place in Canada, not the U.S.A., I think.

Is there such a thing as "old doctors' tales"?

Answer 3

If you can afford it, get videocams and stick them in the trees or something surrounding your house and barn if you have one. You need surveillance. Or hire someone to monitor the place on live cam. If you cant afford any of that, then I guess you've done all you can at this point. I'd maybe send a report to the FBI too, since hate crimes have been committed against you in the past. And beyond that, it must be very stressful to live in an area like that, maybe you could consider moving if at all possible.

Answer 4

i can't believe no one wrote about the guy that burned the inside of his anus b/c he and his boyfriend were sticking the paper towel cardboard roll up their butts and letting a hamster run up the tube. the hamster stayed up one of their butts and wouldn't come out, so they got a lighter to see if they could see it and it ended up burning the dude inside his bunghole.........that was years ago....i think in California.....i remember hearing it on the news....it was funny

Answer 5

i think your the only person on Yahoo Answers that tells jokes
Keep Up The Good Work

Answer 6

a woman died with a javlin in her!! the javlin was mad out of urin(a above airplane had a toilit leak and the urin froze when it stabes her)

Answer 7

What in the world!?! How can people do such retarded things?lol

Answer 8

Wow! unreal!

Answer 9

just what is your question? are these stories true? who knows, who cares? people do weird things

Answer 10

Where did you find this it's pretty funny?