1.A very loud, unattractive hard faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl "Of course they bloody aren't, one is nine, the other is seven. Why the hell do you think they 're twins? ....Do they look alike, you d******d!" "Absolutely not" replies the greeter "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!
2. Always poo at work, not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
3. An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator !
4. Don,t buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms. Just buy ordinary ones and slip a handful of frozen peas inside before you slip it on.
5. High blood pressure sufferers. Simly cut yourself and bleed for a while thus reducing pressure in your veins.
2006-12-04
00:50:28
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22 answers
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asked by
JillPinky
7
in
Jokes & Riddles