Terror Alert News.
The British Isles are currently feeling the pinch with regard to recent bombings and security threats, and as a result have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" and possibly even "Rather Cross."
Londoners have not been "Rather Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when supplies of tea all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." This particular rise in alert level was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on heightened levels of alert. Italy has raised its own level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly while Gesticulating" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two higher levels remain under consideration: "Ineffective Combat Operations", and "Change Sides."
The Germans have, of course, increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress up in Well-Tailored Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels under consideration: "Invade a Neighbor", and "Lose."
2007-06-30
18:04:26
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