Saw this as sumones answer n LOVED it!....?

Question

Terror Alert News.

The British Isles are currently feeling the pinch with regard to recent bombings and security threats, and as a result have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" and possibly even "Rather Cross."

Londoners have not been "Rather Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when supplies of tea all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." This particular rise in alert level was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on heightened levels of alert. Italy has raised its own level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly while Gesticulating" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two higher levels remain under consideration: "Ineffective Combat Operations", and "Change Sides."

The Germans have, of course, increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress up in Well-Tailored Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels under consideration: "Invade a Neighbor", and "Lose."

Answer 1

absolutely hilarious!!!!! 10/10.

Answer 2

i am much younger than you but somthing very simular happend to me. i was v upset and ended up self harming. here is what i did. i gave him the space and time he needed, i smiled at him when ever i saw him but i never spoke to him. even though it hurt to see him i try to pretend i am doing just fine without him. then about a month later the master plann kicked in. i went up to him and said "my mum wanted to nop if you wanted to come round sometime, she said she missed you around the house. but it's ok if you dont want to" if he says yes then when he come round be optimistic but REMEMBER! things arnt goin to spring bk into place like nothing happend be distant dont talk to him for a while afterwards. if he says no then sorry but its time to tell him strate " i gave everything for you and you just think you can throw it away like a peace of crap, well whatever then" and peacefully walk off it will be hard but it is all a matter of timing remember leav atleast a week between each step hope this helped and i wish you the best of luck love ya xx

Answer 3

...And the Americans have increased there alert status to "Bragg about their superior fire-power" and considering "form an alliance with a real military state". And if things get worse they will go to the higher level of "get NATO backing to invade illegally" or move to there top level of "nuke the offending country" !

john

Answer 4

LOL, ta for that bit of Brit humour, sticking 2 fingers up to the tw@ts and having a laugh is our unique defence... ;-)

Answer 5

100% national steriotypes. Move on.

Answer 6

very stiff upper lip, lol

Answer 7

Very good, I like it.

Answer 8

just need the italians,
if you cant win ? swop sides?

Answer 9

Yeah its really good.

Answer 10

PMSL...thats sweet!!!