Entertainment & Music - 20 March 2007

2007-03-20 22:52:31 · 1 answers · asked by Satish 1 in Television

2007-03-20 22:51:31 · 2 answers · asked by Dirty Harry 1 in Movies

2007-03-20 22:51:01 · 10 answers · asked by tokyo 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:50:43 · 19 answers · asked by Gargirl™® 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:50:09 · 31 answers · asked by tokyo 5 in Polls & Surveys

Irish Toast

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me
wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the
best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize
for the best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ya now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life,
sitting in church beside me wife"
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled
leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary"

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised
meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the
last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other
time... I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

2007-03-20 22:49:34 · 39 answers · asked by Katey 3 in Jokes & Riddles

My love life hadnt been a walk in the park since I was 18. My relationships never lasted more than 5 years and now am 30 and single after a hidious divorce 3 years ago. Relationships has not been that fruitful either..Hope someone can tell me whats in for my love life in the future..or am i simply doomed...
Female
Dob 30.10.1976. Sure am pressed for some advice.

2007-03-20 22:48:58 · 13 answers · asked by ? 2 in Horoscopes

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now unpatrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

2007-03-20 22:48:17 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-20 22:48:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2007-03-20 22:46:05 · 18 answers · asked by tokyo 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:45:47 · 9 answers · asked by Yo Mum Mum 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:44:59 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2007-03-20 22:43:23 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating
Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month
Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football
Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start
Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey
Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like I'm living in a dorm
Before - Roses $60/doz.
After - Roses $1.50/stem
Before - Turbocharged
After - Jumpstart
Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl
Before - Feathers and handcuffs
After - Ball and chain
Before - I love a woman with curves
After - I never said you were fat
Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?
Before - Time stood still
After - This relationship is going nowhere
Before - You look so seductive in black
After - Your clothes are so depressing

2007-03-20 22:42:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.
So he decides to crawl the 4 miles home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?"
He asks as he puts on an innocent look. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

2007-03-20 22:40:10 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

A professor of mathematics left this letter on the kitchen counter.

Dear Wife,
You must realize that you are a 56 years old and I have certain needs which you ar eno longer able to satisy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Hilton Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,
You, too, are 56 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Sheraton Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.

Your Wife

2007-03-20 22:39:48 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

A woman goes to the doctor's and says "Doc I have been suffering badly with wind, as a matter of fact I have silently passed wind twice since talking to you---but it's allright it doesn't smell"
"I see" says the doc "take these tablets for a week and then come back"
The following week she returns and seeing the doctor complains "those tablets you gave me are awful-they make my silent wind stink to high heaven"
"ah good" says the doc "now that we have cleared your sinuses lets see what we can do about your hearing.

2007-03-20 22:39:00 · 12 answers · asked by PC 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-20 22:38:57 · 17 answers · asked by CURIOUSMO2006 4 in Celebrities

i think n rather i m sure that its atif aslam.cuz i simply think he is the best n perfect man in this whole world,universe n other.do u know that i just luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luvluv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv ...................him more than the most in this world.universe and other.
i think himesh is the worst 1 in this whole world whenever i see him i just feel like vomitting.
but whenever i see atif i just feel like luving him.............

2007-03-20 22:38:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Cad knows whats best for you so I shall be telling you over the day, what we are going to do.Remember Cad will lie to you,and deceive you.Now we all know where we stand.First policy.Anyone who sprots off about beening green,and Global warming,will have to give all their money and property to Cad holdings.Where it will be used,to recyle christmas trees,for the people of Africa.

2007-03-20 22:38:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

If so have you ever been asked stupid questions or have dumb comments by non readers like "Why?" or "That's weird."
I read and my friends growing up just couldn't understand it! Hmm, guess that's why only two out of seven of them graduated from high school!

2007-03-20 22:38:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:37:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-20 22:36:52 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Am I alone in thinking that so called comedians like Russell Brand aren't funny in the slightest?

I'm in my mid forties now and I could count on the fingers of maybe two hands men and women comics today that are really funny - the rest seem to be a bunch of lefty do-gooders wanting to preach to us!

I'd never realised that comedian/comediens hated each other so much and it's probably justifield that comics right of the political pendulum don't like those who are on the left and can you blame them? The likes of Russell Brand, Ben Elton (mind you Ben Elton did write Blackadder - which is funny) doing standup etc., they're just not funny are they?

Did anyone see the programme?

However, I did found myself disagreeing with Jim Davidson and Bernard Manning about comediens like Jo Brand, as I find her very funny - as a man - and admire her gutts to tell jokes at the expense of men - FOR WOMEN - you then get to see good quality humour from both a male and female perspective!

2007-03-20 22:36:18 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear;
2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim;
3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's their b*tts;
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie;
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime;
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving;
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed;
8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts;
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care;

2007-03-20 22:35:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

CONTEST 1 MILLION DOLLARs!?
ONLY AND ONLY YOU can ANSWER THIS QUESTION!

If there is a contest about a coffee cup design!
What would you put-draw on it and send to the company to win the 1.st prize?

The topic is the relations between coffee and happiness!

WHAT WOULD MAKE PEOPLE HAPPIER
IF THEY SEE A PICTURE on THEIR COFFE CUP?

YOU ARE SO CREATIVE!

Come on!

2007-03-20 22:35:56 · 19 answers · asked by YOU 1 in Polls & Surveys

Oh i'm sorry they do act,... half act like they can wrestle, when its all fake.
and the other half act like they can sing when there's no music.

guess practice makes perfect... still never seen but two wrestlers who could act worth a hoot, (rock and hogan)
and on the rapers, gee let me get back to ya.. none have ever played a trully major role... maybe thats because THEY CANT ACT any better then they can sing.

2007-03-20 22:35:34 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

Just thought I would ask a spontaneous Betazoid question. Trekkers rejoice?

2007-03-20 22:35:15 · 5 answers · asked by sassychickensuckerboy 4 in Television

2007-03-20 22:35:05 · 19 answers · asked by Lazrus 6 in Polls & Surveys

The choices are:
Eminem, Vanilla Ice, Kevin Federline

2007-03-20 22:34:46 · 3 answers · asked by paddy 3 in Celebrities