Entertainment & Music - 25 November 2006

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

2006-11-25 21:59:20 · 6 answers · asked by some dude 3 in Jokes & Riddles

i like !!

its a nice tickly feeling !.. heheh :)

wht abt u ?

2006-11-25 21:58:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I just wanted to know if anyone else is high right now

2006-11-25 21:58:41 · 13 answers · asked by cryptology00 1 in Polls & Surveys

who got the boot?

2006-11-25 21:58:13 · 14 answers · asked by Bea 5 in Television

Blonde goes into a chemist to buy deodarant for her husband. Assistant asks "Is it the ball kind?"
"No," replies blonde "it's for under his arms."

2006-11-25 21:57:35 · 10 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-25 21:56:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

A man kills a deer and takes it home for dinner but does'nt tell the kids what it is.
He says he will give them a clue, "It's what mum calls me sometimes."
The daughter screams and shouts "Don't eat it, it's a f*****g a**e hole!"

2006-11-25 21:56:02 · 12 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-25 21:55:15 · 30 answers · asked by pravin m 1 in Movies

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy?
A. Who cares?

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, & good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. When does a woman most want a man's company?
A. When he owns it.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A. If you slice them very thinly it takes 3 average size men.

Q. Why do men get married?
A. So they don't have to hold their stomachs in any more.

Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes

Q. Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge & go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed & go to the fridge.

2006-11-25 21:53:35 · 11 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care.
I came downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08."

2006-11-25 21:53:20 · 5 answers · asked by some dude 3 in Jokes & Riddles

♥

2006-11-25 21:51:43 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

so he goes to buy a Rolls Royce. The sales chap says you don't want to start with this for you first car, you need to build up to it. Yeah says the fella that's a good point and off he goes. This keeps happening until he eventually ends up with a hoop and stick. One Sunday he's out for a run and stops at a country pub, he has a pint and when he comes out the hoop and stick are missing. He tells the landlord who says well don't worry mate it can't have cost much. That's not the problem says the bloke, how am i going to get home !!!!!!. I know its crap but i am sick of getting a bollcking off Yahoo !!!!!!!

2006-11-25 21:51:34 · 10 answers · asked by pokerfacelad 4 in Jokes & Riddles

These are jokes I've posted before.......why not? Everyone seems to like repeat jokes, it's like Groundhog day on here!
Anyway, see what you think.

Tiger woods in Ireland driving a BMW 5 series, he needs petrol. The attendant doesnt know who Tiger is. Tiger goes or his wallet from glove compartment and 2 tees drop out. Attendant asks ' What are they?' . Tiger replies 'To rest your balls on.' Attendant says 'Blimey, BMW, they think of it all!'

Taxi driver picks up a nun, he keeps looking at her through the rear view mirror, nun asks 'Is there a problem?' Driver says ' I've always fantasised about snoggin a nun' Nun says well if you are catholic and single I have no objection. Driver says 'I'm both' He then passionately snogs the nun. He then says 'I have a confession to make, I'm married and i aint catholic'. It's ok says the nun. I'm just on my way to a drag party.'

2006-11-25 21:51:17 · 7 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Jokes & Riddles

I probably wouldn't unless I really knew the person very very well, and I concider myself an artist.... but if somebody approached you and asked you would you?

2006-11-25 21:50:23 · 23 answers · asked by G-gnomegrl 3 in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-25 21:47:28 · 6 answers · asked by loboe27 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-25 21:47:13 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

who would it be?
fiona apple
tori amos
sarah mclachlan
jewel
or they are sucky artist who need more attention?

2006-11-25 21:45:46 · 11 answers · asked by Angelo H 2 in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-25 21:45:02 · 30 answers · asked by Rita W 2 in Movies

2006-11-25 21:44:58 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I used to watch this cartoon when i was little (im 22 now), it was about a princess with long blonde hair and she had these 3 colours in her hair, but whenever something bad happened these 3 colours would come out and they were actually 3 little animals and the colour were their long tails. i no its a bit sad, but its really drivin me insane wondering what the hell this cartoon is called!! please help!

2006-11-25 21:44:06 · 9 answers · asked by hate cheating men 1 in Comics & Animation

1.bullsh!t
2.lie
3.true
4.hate
5.i don't know

2006-11-25 21:43:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

My maker doesn't want me

My buyer doesn't use me

My user doesn't see me

What am I?

2006-11-25 21:41:18 · 5 answers · asked by txsaxman91 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-25 21:41:10 · 4 answers · asked by looks like sean P 1 in Television

2006-11-25 21:39:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-25 21:37:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I had a really good looking friend at high school whose name was Eugene. He was really sensitive about it, cos lots of nerds on movies are called Eugene.

2006-11-25 21:36:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I feel there are many celebs who are as bad as Micheal Richards, just that they were not caught on camera. Whether they are white , black, I've heard about some of these other celebs who are WAY more racist than Richards. I live in the Hollywood area and many friends who work in the industry and you wont believe the racist things that go on there with these famous people when they think they can get away with it. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS RECENT Micheal Richard's incident? Would you still watch any of his movies or show or support his endorsements?

2006-11-25 21:35:38 · 9 answers · asked by chaseki 3 in Celebrities

what would you say if somebody told you there was a dinosaur living under your bed?

2006-11-25 21:34:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

like Mcdonalds, popeyes, kfc, and wendys

2006-11-25 21:33:17 · 20 answers · asked by Aaron m420 4 in Polls & Surveys

what would u taste like

2006-11-25 21:33:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys