Entertainment & Music - 7 November 2006

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters.
In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.
A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!".
Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then
goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes.
When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord". A bit
pissed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor
chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.
The little old man jumps up again.
"No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord". Well and truly p’d off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability
Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ***. You get up here and do it!"
The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike... and starts to sing .....
"A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."

2006-11-07 07:08:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I swear, i work in an office full of women and the thermostat was at 76 degrees today!!! I was sweating just sitting there!

And even at home, i can be in shorts and a tank top and my wife will be in a sweatshirt and have 3 blankets on.

Am i stereotyping here; or is it really a fact that women are always colder?

2006-11-07 07:07:56 · 28 answers · asked by Joe Somebody 6 in Polls & Surveys

I was able to purchase the DVD on 11/6 at 8pm
at the local drug store - can they get in trouble for that?
(it was not to be released until 11/7)

2006-11-07 07:07:05 · 5 answers · asked by nunofyobiznit 3 in Movies

I won't tell you mine or what is says about me so that it is a fair bet for everyone. ;)

2006-11-07 07:06:40 · 14 answers · asked by otter7 5 in Polls & Surveys

Who thinks pearl jam is the greatest band?

2006-11-07 07:05:58 · 10 answers · asked by Jesse S 2 in Music

~ Sex Mathmatics ~

This is pretty neat how it works out.
This is amazing SEX math!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It only takes about a minute...
Work this out as you read.



Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun (& it's about sex).

First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex ... (try for more than once but less than 10)

Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

Add 5. (for Friday Night)

Multiply it by 50 (being a bit stupid)

I'll wait while you get the calculator...



If you have already had your birthday this year add 1752...

If you haven't, add 1751 ...

Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. (if you remember)

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).

The next two numbers are your age.

IMPRESSIVE ISN'T IT?

2006-11-07 07:05:32 · 28 answers · asked by chris b 4 in Jokes & Riddles

I'm just getting interested in learning how to play guitar. What would be a cheap, yet good, guitar to purchase in order to learn how to play?

2006-11-07 07:04:30 · 10 answers · asked by i_act_blonde15 3 in Music

can anyone tell me the name of matt bellamy's new guitar the one with the x,y axis pad at the base of the body

2006-11-07 07:03:38 · 2 answers · asked by Razor 4 in Music

2006-11-07 07:03:18 · 20 answers · asked by vodka 4 in Television

IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING READY LOOSLEY FOR INSTANT ACTION. IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND SMALL HOLE AT The OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS. ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE WELL-LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS. WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, WHITE STICKY SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND SOME OF FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT. AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMANATING IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY YET FOR ANOTHER BIT OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS. WHAT AM I? AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER is none other than…………..Your Toothbrush!!!!! LOL

2006-11-07 07:03:00 · 15 answers · asked by EriksSweetheart 3 in Jokes & Riddles

If you could tickle Jessica Simpson just to make her laugh where would you tickle her?????

2006-11-07 07:02:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-07 07:02:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

Two identical twins called Joe & John.
One day John’s wife died same day as Joe’s boat sank.
Walking down the street an elderly lady said to Joe (Thinking it was John) that she was sorry about his loss. Joe (The one with the sunken boat) said it’s ok, she was a rotten thing with a huge bottom any how. She was losing water, had a massive crack in the back and a big hole in the front which was getting bigger and bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to four guys. The fools, they tried to enter her at thte same time and split her right down the middle.
The old lady fainted!!!

2006-11-07 07:02:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

hey all,i have brought my very good friend an mp3 player and would like to put some new ish pop or dance songs onto it for her.she is only into pop and or dance so any help would be appreciated!!! ta very muchly.

2006-11-07 07:01:17 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-11-07 07:00:56 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I'm looking for answers like "God Bless the U.S.A." by Lee Greenwood or "Courtesy of the Red White and Blue" by Toby Keith.

2006-11-07 07:00:43 · 14 answers · asked by pgw410 3 in Music

Pretty much the only music I purchase is the soundtrack for a movie. Say what you will about me, deal with it, it's what I like.
Anyway, give me some recommendations for good soundtracks anything goes (except kids movies)!!

2006-11-07 07:00:15 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

it was in the episode of will and grace when grace surprises will with a piano as she thinks they are drifting apart and where karen gets addicted to jack's erotic novels.

2006-11-07 06:59:32 · 11 answers · asked by Andy P 1 in Music

who appeared to be with the photographer???? where was jigsaw ???? a quick review plz :(

2006-11-07 06:59:13 · 6 answers · asked by biko k 1 in Movies

Besides the Dutty Wine and Pool Palace...what are some new dancehall dances?

2006-11-07 06:59:10 · 3 answers · asked by missportal 2 in Music

or is satan still waiting to be a father?

2006-11-07 06:58:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

This is the chorus but I can't think of the song. It's probably somewhere in the chorus but I can't pick it out. Thanks in advance!!

I chimed in with a "haven't you people ever heard of closing a gosh dang door." No, much better to fix these kinds of things with a voice of rationality

2006-11-07 06:58:11 · 6 answers · asked by dodd319 4 in Music

There is a big glaring methodological problem with our profiling, in fact, it
undermines everything we think we know about offenders- what is it?

2006-11-07 06:58:08 · 3 answers · asked by Tony O 1 in Jokes & Riddles

sorry the songs stuck in my head!!! WE DIDNT START THE FIRE!!! IT WASALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLDS BEEN TURNING!!! NO WE DIDNT LIGHT IT BUT WE TRIED TO FIGHT IT!!!!!! awesome... sorry i just had tro say that!

2006-11-07 06:58:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

It can be a guy or girl black or white it can even be Michael Jackson!

2006-11-07 06:57:53 · 33 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Polls & Surveys

Does the school change before college in Boy Meets World?

2006-11-07 06:57:33 · 5 answers · asked by duckintuxedoproductions 1 in Television

Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say, "You're next."

2006-11-07 06:57:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-07 06:57:02 · 25 answers · asked by ~Kricket~ 6 in Polls & Surveys

picture the scene bert and george in the trench during the second world war surrounded by germans and they were the only 2 left in their platoon and they had not eaten for 5days.bert looks over the trench and says ''george look at that tree over there it has got rashers of bacon hanging from it''george says ''sit down bert you are getting delirious there is no such thing as a bacon tree''but bert was adamant and said''keep me covered i will get some bacon and we will have a good fry up for breakfast''with that he disappears over the top of the trench.Within a couple of minutes george hears machine guns grenades mortar shells gas bombs etc.after a couple of minutes bert falls back into the trench leg missing arm off big hole in his gut.george says''well dummy did you get the bacon''and bert says ''no it wasnt a bacon tree'' george says ''well what was it and bert says....wait for it ....wait....'it was a BLOODY 'AMBUSH''....(HAMbush )another play on words for those who dont get it.....

2006-11-07 06:56:56 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-07 06:56:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities