Entertainment & Music - 12 September 2006

Metaphorically speaking.

2006-09-12 04:44:46 · 7 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

ROFL


For you guys who won't lsiten to a woman because she is too stupid
to know ANYTHING!

>> In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into
the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to
touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one
labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice felling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things likethis.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm
air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.!

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

MEN NEVER LISTEN
>>

2006-09-12 04:44:33 · 16 answers · asked by wilowdreams 5 in Jokes & Riddles

What film star would you like to be the most and why?

2006-09-12 04:43:53 · 22 answers · asked by ryn 4 in Polls & Surveys

just curious

2006-09-12 04:43:28 · 20 answers · asked by darkangel1111 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-12 04:43:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-12 04:42:53 · 17 answers · asked by ? 4 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-12 04:42:50 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

I hate Deal or no deal, the contestants are all twats and the banker got his script direct from his own backside, as for our Noel...the BBC were right years ago when they got shot of that clown.

2006-09-12 04:42:48 · 52 answers · asked by badgerbeetle 3 in Television

generally , as per, Astrology, A KALASARPA YOGAis considered by the learned astrologers. as not good.
yet Pandit Javahar lal Nehru had v.good child hood foreign edn,.&ruled as p.m. for about 17 yrs.
what factors nullified the k.s. yoga effect, & r there any living examples.

2006-09-12 04:42:39 · 6 answers · asked by veerabhadrasarma m 7 in Horoscopes

2006-09-12 04:42:26 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Horoscopes

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts, have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

2006-09-12 04:42:14 · 23 answers · asked by Grandma of six 5 in Jokes & Riddles

i saw it at a friends and they keep advising me to google it and i have trieed...you can download all genre.

2006-09-12 04:42:06 · 8 answers · asked by azania z 1 in Music

i have checked and there are thousands or replys to jonathon rosses question, dont tell me he is going to read every one of them, and what happens if two or more people get the same answer, do they split the tv in two

2006-09-12 04:41:49 · 13 answers · asked by mentor 5 in Polls & Surveys

There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company.
At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy.
Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy?"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"

2006-09-12 04:39:55 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

car ?

Do you need a new one?

2006-09-12 04:39:37 · 24 answers · asked by bye bye 5 in Polls & Surveys

when I went to use it I found it trained on my sexy neighbours window, should I tell my mom?

2006-09-12 04:38:23 · 9 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

I sit on my moms couch and smoke weed all day and I'm gonna be a big rock star, why am I so perfect??

2006-09-12 04:38:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Worth going to see or not?

2006-09-12 04:37:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

karmically speaking ofcourse

2006-09-12 04:37:46 · 36 answers · asked by darkangel1111 5 in Polls & Surveys

IVT in FIVB

2006-09-12 04:37:15 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

2006-09-12 04:36:24 · 7 answers · asked by Lionel M 5 in Jokes & Riddles

A Professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife it read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

2006-09-12 04:36:04 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."

Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy ****.

Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.

Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday

Q: Why is being in the military like a *******?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.

Q: What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
A: Hair balls

Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive

Q: What can Life Savers do that men cannot?
A: Come in five flavours

Q: What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
A: Crust

Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork

Q: How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
A: By sticking your finger in his honey

Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
A: Both can smell it... but they can't eat it

Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snow blower coming.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence

Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q: What does a dog do that a boy steps into?
A: A lump of ****. no wait.. pants.

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy

Q: What do you call an amish farmer with his arm halfway up his horses ***?
A: A mechanic

Q: Why did the elephant paint his balls red?
A: So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: A giraffe eating cherries.

Q: Why does santa have such a big sack?
A: Cos he only comes once a year.

Q: How do you define a "tough girl"
A: She kickstarts her own vibrator, or she rolls her own tampons


Q: What do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
A: A system that won't go down.

2006-09-12 04:35:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

at any point in your life raided your dad's home bar and topped up the bottles with water?

2006-09-12 04:35:24 · 27 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-12 04:34:57 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-12 04:34:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I live in Kentucky; it's a beautiful state with beautiful scenery. My heart, however, is in TEXAS; I love that place!

2006-09-12 04:34:50 · 7 answers · asked by webcoky 1 in Polls & Surveys

Its an alblum i had when i was a small child i would like my children to hear it

2006-09-12 04:34:19 · 6 answers · asked by thacallmegoose 1 in Other - Entertainment

2006-09-12 04:33:29 · 1 answers · asked by digitaldancer22 4 in Music

explain why you also hate her.. lol

2006-09-12 04:33:28 · 13 answers · asked by Misa 1 in Celebrities