Entertainment & Music - 10 September 2006

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye.. that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.
"It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already **** my pants!"

2006-09-10 22:54:58 · 14 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-10 22:54:53 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

2006-09-10 22:54:43 · 8 answers · asked by Ichthys 1 in Music

It can be in the music world.....the Hollywood world......your world......absolutely anyone.

2006-09-10 22:54:27 · 51 answers · asked by fairydust 2 in Polls & Surveys

for me its clay aiken but kellie pickler is a close 2nd

2006-09-10 22:53:44 · 6 answers · asked by music master 3 in Music

I like thrillers, animations and adventure films.Wanna see what u like.:),dunno what to watch next :P.The most helpful answer gets the 10 points!:D

2006-09-10 22:50:34 · 22 answers · asked by ic3g7rl 2 in Movies

Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
> >
> > Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering
> wheel.
> >
> > You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.
> >
> > 15-minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep you car for 3 days.
> >
> > When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield
> > for you?"
> >
> > Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club".
> >
> > While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if
> > anyone was hurt.
> >
> > For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom, vroom'
> > noises while in the driveway.
> >
> > You keep losing dates on left turns.
> >
> > Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when discussing morning
> > tie-ups.
> >

2006-09-10 22:49:48 · 4 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

who will be the champion

2006-09-10 22:47:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

He has a wife uno. Do you want to know what her name is? Her name is....." (fill in blank) "

2006-09-10 22:46:50 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Entertainment

but wake up with a 1 the next morning? I tell ya, drinking is bad for ya..

2006-09-10 22:42:46 · 14 answers · asked by melhtims 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I saw a video on MTV and I missed who it was by. The song is called Love you down, and a black guy was singing it. It's quite old now. Any ideas?

2006-09-10 22:42:32 · 7 answers · asked by ♥ Nicola ♥ 3 in Music

2006-09-10 22:42:18 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Comics & Animation

Does anyone know if Death Note The Movie is going to come out in Australia? If so when?????

2006-09-10 22:41:52 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

2006-09-10 22:41:12 · 8 answers · asked by cherablkbuttafly 1 in Television

2006-09-10 22:40:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-10 22:40:04 · 11 answers · asked by Parul 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-10 22:39:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-10 22:39:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-10 22:38:55 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
> > of natural causes.
> >
> > Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
> > weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
> > ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
> >
> > The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
> replacement.
> >
> > Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
> >
> > Life is sexually transmitted, have you ever thought about that?
> >
> > Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
> >
> > Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
> > the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
> >
> > Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you
> > still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
> >
> > Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
> > nothing.
> >
> > Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
> > about seeing UFOs like they used to?
> >
> > Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
> >
> > In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> > weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
> >
> > Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
> > realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
> >
> > How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
> > box to start a campfire?
> >

2006-09-10 22:36:58 · 10 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

reaction = life , love, friendship, carrere, anything..

2006-09-10 22:36:02 · 3 answers · asked by Raju.K.M 5 in Other - Entertainment

2006-09-10 22:35:54 · 12 answers · asked by The Questionator 1 in Movies

with it being the comedys birthday uktv gold is showing episodes all this monty is there anybody into this wonderfull comedy show david jason is brill

2006-09-10 22:34:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

pls suggest some good books in fiction, romance, mystery etc

2006-09-10 22:34:14 · 15 answers · asked by sweety 2 in Other - Entertainment

anybody here from philippines or in other countries know what musical instruments r used in mindoro, palawan, and visayas??? and how they r used???........u will be a big help for me if u answer this..... thnx ....GOD BLESS U ALL!!!......
(u can just give me the website in where to find those)
thnx a lot!
i love u!

2006-09-10 22:34:01 · 1 answers · asked by i LOVE you!!! 4 in Music

Symptom: Beer is crystal clear
Fault: It's water. Someone is trying to sober you up.
Action to take: Punch the guy who gave you the water.

Symptom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the
room you're in
Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.
Action to take: See if they have free beer.

Symptom: Feet cold and wet
Fault: Glass or bottle held at incorrect angle
Action to take: Adjust angle so open end points to
ceiling.

Symptom: Feet warm and wet
Fault: improper bladder control
Action to take: Stand next to nearest dog, complain
about house training

Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless
Fault: Glass or bottle is empty
Action to take: Get someone to buy you another beer

Symptom: Opposite wall covered with florescent lights
Fault: You have fallen over backward
Action to take: Chain yourself to the bar

Symptom: Mouth filled with cigarette butts
Fault: You have fallen forward
Action to take: see above

Symptom: Beer tasteless, front of your t-shirt is wet
Fault: Mouth not open, or container applied to wrong
part of face
Action to take: Enter bathroom, confirm mouth
location, practice in the mirror

Symptom: Floor blurred
Fault: You are looking through the bottom of your
empty container
Action to take: Get someone to buy you another beer

Symptom: Floor moving
Fault: You are being carried out
Action to take: Find out if you're being taken to
another bar

Symptom: Room seems unusually dark
Fault: Bar is closed
Action to take: Confirm home address with bartender,
take taxi home

Symptom: Taxi is unusually colourful and "pretty"
Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations
Action to take: Cover mouth

Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles
Fault: You are dancing on the bar
Action to take: Find someone cushy-looking to land on


Symptom: Your singing sound’s distorted
Fault: Insufficient beer intake
Action to take: Increase beer intake until it sounds
just right

Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song
Fault: Correct beer intake
Action to take: Play air guitar

Symptom: Bed is stiff and bumping around, wierd people
standing around you
Fault: Taking a ride in an ambulance
Action to take: No action necessary, you've already
made an *** out of yourself.

Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
Fault: You've been in a fight
Action to take: Apologize to everyone you see, just in
case it was them

Symptom: Squishy feeling in the hands
Fault: You've grabbed a woman's breasts
Action to take: If boyfriend exists, duck to avoid
punch. If no boyfriend exists, ask for name and phone
number

Symptom: Unattractive woman in your sights
Fault: Insufficient beer intake
Action to take: Up the dosage

Symptom: Shins and toes hurt
Fault: You've been walking into things
Action to take: Maintain dosage

2006-09-10 22:32:56 · 9 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Jokes & Riddles

You can't even read them most of the time! Why do they bother having them?

2006-09-10 22:31:15 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Salma Hayek, Penelop Cruz or Eva Mendez???

2006-09-10 22:31:11 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2006-09-10 22:31:09 · 5 answers · asked by Sasa 2 in Other - Entertainment

2006-09-10 22:30:28 · 5 answers · asked by Raju.K.M 5 in Other - Entertainment