Im in year 11 (15 y/o) and this is for english.
Can you tell me how i can improve it please?
sorry its kinda long!
January sales
Amy was sitting on the back seat of her mums car, she could faintly hear the sound of the radio underneath the sound of the own ipod. She looked around her. In the front passenger seat Amy’s dad was snoring softly, from time to time he made a strange grunt. Her brother was sitting next to her in baggy jeans and a white top which looked that he has picked up from his bedroom floor. His hair was gelled lazily. He was half asleep, looking out of the window, ‘I don’t need to buy anything mum. I don’t need to go,’ he kept on moaning.
But his mum pretended not to hear him, she was to busy driving, while humming happily along to the radio, her big smile on her face. One of the things that made Amy’s mum different to the rest of the family was that she couldn’t resist a bargin. Whenever she saw a sale she had to buy something, even if
Conitued....
2007-08-26
01:37:53
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5 answers
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