A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear–everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and MandMs. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. The wife said, “You idiot, I meant my dress size!”
The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
2007-11-23 23:07:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
The problem recipients are:
42 year old new mum auntie, has nearly everything
62 year old rich auntie, defintely has everything
Boyfriends mother who doesnt really deserve anything
Cousins husband, builder & handyman, new dad
4 month old baby girl, has all the baby bits
1 year old baby boy, also has a lot
I am looking for things around $20-30 as I am not rich, I live in New Zealand too so we dont have as many cool shops as you guys in the USA & UK do.
All ideas appreciated :)
2007-11-23 23:05:47 · 3 answers · asked by Jeanne 2 in Christmas
2007-11-23 23:03:59 · 12 answers · asked by missy me 5 in Polls & Surveys
There was no argument , no disruption or violence.....the people voted & that's final ! Would you like that type of democracy in Lebanon where religion plays no part in deciding the way the country is governed .....?
2007-11-23 23:03:53 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lebanon
2007-11-23 23:03:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-11-23 23:03:12 · 8 answers · asked by Hi 2 in Polls & Surveys
Why?
2007-11-23 23:02:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
my parents just go a new matress n my mum has been complaining that it smells...
any tips of getting rid of the NEW matress smell? ASAP? cant go one nite without sleeping can we.. so she really wants to get rid of the smell.
pls advice.. thx in advance! :)
2007-11-23 23:02:33 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cleaning & Laundry
& would love to see one for myself. not just on the computer in other peoples videos.
2007-11-23 23:02:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Astronomy & Space
& u worked for WWF you knew every thing about the screw job would tell Bret Hart
2007-11-23 23:02:07 · 3 answers · asked by ortonchampion 1 in Wrestling
Hello.
Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary-eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is?
Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help. We’re a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counseling through weekly meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.
We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never “cured”, you most certainly can recover.
We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you:
1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?
3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you’ll receive a reply one day from a company you’ll never do business with anyway?
6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you’d usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?
10) All of the above?
If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at: 1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORYOUROWNSAKE.
We’re here, we’re free, and we’re confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem. Call us today. If you can power off to free up your phone line, that is.
2007-11-23 23:02:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
& u worked for WWF you knew every thing about the screw job would tell Bret Hart
2007-11-23 23:01:59 · 1 answers · asked by ortonchampion 1 in Montreal
2007-11-23 23:01:37 · 2 answers · asked by sundeep 9732 1 in Geography
As many motocross fans know that Grant Langston won the 2007 motocross championsip. But he did not start winning races until Carmichael left the series and Stewart tore his knee out.
Do you think he will be a threat come the 2008 series, or will Stewart dominate the class since RC is now retired?
2007-11-23 23:00:51 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Motorcycle Racing
Was that an insult or what????
Either way. I am glad she is in love and happy.
2007-11-23 22:59:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
1. "He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own."
2. "Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change"
3. "The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them."
2007-11-23 22:59:46 · 6 answers · asked by kmstca 1 in Philosophy
i `m suffering with polycystic ovary
2007-11-23 22:59:25 · 1 answers · asked by deepti_gup_ta 1 in Women's Health
2007-11-23 22:59:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics
2007-11-23 22:58:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics
What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the
car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said
"Disneyland "Left", so they turned around and went home.
What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.
Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!
What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette
said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward
and said, "Where, where?"
How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed
to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her joke on Wednesday.
2007-11-23 22:58:17 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
I kind've know that some of the files of folder lock get installed to system32 folder in windows but i dunno what to do with them or what their names are. I'd be happy to get the software out of the comp too if i don't get the password...but so far nothing seems to be terminating the locking. Its still got most of my files and is refusing to be deleted :((
2007-11-23 22:58:13 · 2 answers · asked by rockr 1 in Security
2007-11-23 22:57:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
2007-11-23 22:57:32 · 2 answers · asked by Doubledown 2 in Other - Society & Culture
My bird died and I was digging a grave for it and as I was digging, at about 20 cm in the ground I noticed two round balls, they look like tapeworms curled into a round ball. As I examined it a little closer I noticed that a little bit was moving. There are two and right now they're placed in an air tight plastic container. I would like to know what it could possibly be. And if it is dangerous in any way how should I get rid of it?
Thank you!
2007-11-23 22:56:52 · 13 answers · asked by delilah123 4 in Other - Home & Garden
2007-11-23 22:56:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
2007-11-23 22:56:40 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics
if you know what i mean!
2007-11-23 22:56:11 · 7 answers · asked by macmanf4j 4 in Politics
Bonut
Bosco
Rovilson
Braddy
Chelestiar
Delmah
Corvutt
Uckery
Shelbar
Veltas
Hawick
Weynn
Algrid
Bobbutt
Bucky
Molcrub
Chucky
Arias
(all boys' names)
Anyone hiring me to be their baby's namegiver? :D
2007-11-23 22:55:36 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Baby Names
2007-11-23 22:55:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics
I need the translation of “Happy Birthday to You” in these below languages in their own alphabet:
Irish, Albanian, Italy, South African, Indonesian, Austrian, Germany, Czech, Danish, Russian, Japanese, Swedish, Swiss, French, Spanish, Armenian, Belgian, Brazilian, Bulgarian, Portuguese, Pakistani, Turkish, Chinese, Korean, Georgian, Polish, Mexican, Mongolian, Hungarian, Norwegian, Vietnamese, Dutch, Hindi, Greek, Turcoman, Arabic, Cypriot, Icelandic, Angolan, Argentinean, Singaporean, Cameroonian, Colombian, Guatemalan, Maldivian, Malaysian, Cuban, Ethiopian, Zambian.
(All of them without exception please)
2007-11-23 22:54:19 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Languages
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