I have been going to a church for 2 years 8 months. But I have not been going to the church. I have been serving for 2 years 8 months out in the children’s church program. The kids that help us are not getting anything out of it. I feel like I’m babysitting. I don’t know if the ones who we are doing this for are getting anything out of it as I never see them. We do the same old songs over and over again. We teach the same bible stories and memory verses over and over again.
I had gone to this church from December 6, 1998 to 2003 and then stopped going for about 6 months. The reason was I was running the projector that displayed the words to the music that we sang on Sunday morning and “all” special events. When I was asked to do it I understood that there would be three of us doing it and we would trade off. Well that three became me and only me. I asked over and over again if there was going to be any one else. The preacher said that he was working on it. That was in October of 2002. I left in the last Sunday in June of 2003. And it was not until December of 2004. When I did come back, it never was for my self or God. It was for the husband and wife team that run the children’s church program. I love them like parents. (Mine are all dead.)
Here it is August 24, 2006, and every sense January of this year it’s been a full on struggle to get up every Sunday morning and go and help. From a spiritual level I am about as far off the path as I (personally) can get. I had talked with a friend who is the son-and-law of the man who runs children’s church at the church where I go. He and I talked many times about how I was not happy and how empty I felt inside and he said that I should tell him how I was feeling. I had “said” it but not to the point to where he could understand it (he heard but was not listing). I thought my hit and miss on Sunday mornings would be a clue as to my desire not to be there.
Well this last Sunday I missed church again. Only this time when I called him later that day he said that he had talked with his son-and-law and that he told him that I wanted out.
He asked me if it was true. I was not going to lie and say I did not say such a thing.
Well he freaked out. Said that I was doing this for my self and not willing to wait for God to send me someone to replace me. And that I should not come over to his house or have anything to do with him. God! I was not ready to have this conversation, not this way, not over the phone. I could not tell him why I need to leave. I could not put into words how I felt in side. He said that he and his wife where going to have to close down the children’s church. That he simply could not do it alone. His son-in-law said that they had done it with out me for 27 years before I came and that they would do it after I was gone.
(Why did he have to open his big mouth on this Sunday?)
So is it right to stay somewhere, where your spiritually dead inside?
Or should you go else where and hopefully find that spark that brings you back to life?
God loves a joyful giver, and I had not been joyful for most of this year.
So what should I do?
2006-08-23
19:59:34
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16 answers
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asked by
christs_tyro_morrow
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in
Religion & Spirituality