Entertainment & Music - 16 November 2007

Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?

A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?

A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?

A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: What's the ultimate rejection?

A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

A: K9P.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?

A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?

A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread?

A: Dill-dough

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

2007-11-16 22:55:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

How do you come back when you're at the point of no return?

2007-11-16 22:55:46 · 11 answers · asked by ? 3 in Polls & Surveys

8 ⤊

Never tick off a nurse.....funny ?

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just
like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled
down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. No, I'm sorry, " the
nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually
he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer,
he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay
JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses
under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

2007-11-16 22:55:09 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

little johnny on s*x education funny or not?

A fifth grade teacher is told she must teach s*x education to her class. She decides to use a math technique to teach the subject, and thinks flash cards will work well.

The next day in class, she holds up the first flash card, a picture of a bre*st, and asked "Does anyone know what this is?" Little Suzie responds-"I know, I know! It's a picture of a bre*st and my mommy has two of them!" The teacher says "very good Suzie, you get a star for the exercise"

The teacher grabs the next card and holds it up. It's a picture of a p*nis. She asks "Does anyone know what this is?" and little johnny says, "I know I know! It a p*nis and my daddy has two of them!!!" The teacher says "well johnny , It is a p*nis but your daddy can't have two of them."

Tommy says, "sure he does, he's got a little one he pees out of and a great big one he brushes mommy's teeth with!"

2007-11-16 22:54:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

8 ⤊

Poll: Are you better off being single?

I could talk forever on this subject but will leave it to you!!

Thanks for your answers!!

2007-11-16 22:51:05 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

3 ⤊

Is "The Godfather" The Best Movie Ever Made?

2007-11-16 22:50:28 · 8 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

chicken farmer funny or not?

A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron.

He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."

"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're
finally fertile."

"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm
pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.

"I switched cocks," he replied.

"What a coincidence," she said.

2007-11-16 22:50:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

0 ⤊

Blonde getting a haircut?

A blonde was rollerblading with her headphones on. She stopped at the hair salon and asked for a haircut but told the hairdresser she couldn't take off the headphones, the hairdresser sain "no" so the blonde left. She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing this hairdresser said "ok".
After a while the blonde fell asleep in the chair so the hairdresser removed the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. Confused at what had happened the hairdresser put on the headphones, they were saying " breathe in, breathe out"
No offence to any blondes i'm one myself just thought this was funny!!

2007-11-16 22:48:21 · 16 answers · asked by lasticlegs 4 in Jokes & Riddles

11 ⤊

No More Chicken......funny ?

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter
shed.

"Tommy, " she said, "I'm not eating
any more chicken sandwiches."

"Why?" he asked.

"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down
here, " she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.

"I don't believe you, " he said. "You'll
have to show me."

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

"You're right, " he said. "I've
been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting
feathers too."

"Well, I'd better have a look, " she said.

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh,
I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck
and giblets too."

2007-11-16 22:47:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

10 ⤊

If the Government is the heart of the country...?

What part of the body does your community represent. Or what bodily funtion are you, individualy, compared to your surroundings!?.

2007-11-16 22:46:53 · 9 answers · asked by Old Man of Coniston!. 5 in Polls & Surveys

2 ⤊

Is "Scarface" The Best Movie Ever Made ?

2007-11-16 22:46:37 · 23 answers · asked by cats 7 in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

little johny an oldie but funny or not?

Teacher asks class to think of a word and then put it in a sentence.
Johnny puts up his hand and says "UR*NATE"
Teacher is shocked but says can you put that in a sentence?
Johnny says, "My Dad says you're an eight but if you had bigger t*ts you'd be a ten."

2007-11-16 22:45:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

10 ⤊

Are you familiar with ?

...something you know nothing about?

2007-11-16 22:43:57 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

18 ⤊

Is this a better question than the one below?

2007-11-16 22:40:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

15 ⤊

Is this a better questiom than the one above?

2007-11-16 22:40:26 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

13 ⤊

Recovering......funny ?

Carl, who has been very sick is visiting his doctor to get
the results of a battery of tests. "What are my chances
of recovering, Doc?" he asks.

"One hundred percent, " the doctor assures
him.

"That's a relief, " Carl says. "But
how can you be so sure?"

"Well, " the doctor says, "statistics
show that nine out of every 10 patients with your disease
will die. Yours is the 10th case I've treated. The others
have all died. So you are bound to get well."

2007-11-16 22:39:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

14 ⤊

India's Foreign Exchange Reserves $270 billion, 4th largest holder in the world? Your views on the same:?

India's Foreign Exchange Reserves have gone up handsomely over the last decade, from a level of near bankcruptcy in 1990-91 to almost $270 bn billion today

1 Billion (Level of near bankruptcy in 1990-91)

In 1990 we have Forex crisis and had bledge gold to buy Forex from world bank.

$ 10 billion (projected) for 1999-2000, a nine fold increase in 8 years

From 2000 onwards our Forex has grown from $10 billion to $270 billion

India ranks as the world's 4th largest holder of foreign exchange, behind People's Republic of China, Japan, Russia, the report said.

Today it is proudly crossed the 270 billion mark.

To understand how much money you are talking about. USA president bush George bush was convincing the congress to allot $ 80 bn for the war in IRAQ for 8 months.

India's reserve growth, driven by a booming economy that began after the country liberalized its economy in 1991.

India's reserve growth, driven by a booming economy that began after the c