Entertainment & Music - 17 October 2007

George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list
but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm
going to have to let someone else go. I've got three folks here who
weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to
take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves!!"
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of
rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
"No!" said George, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I
would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day."
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton
lying on the floor. His arms were staked over his head. His legs
staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky. She
was doing what she was famous for.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while. Finally he
said, "Yeah, I can handle that."
The devil smiled and said, "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!!!"

2007-10-17 22:59:56 · 14 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-17 22:58:45 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

cos this girl said it was
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=Ahud3yfZoEd1vNapzHus_WwgBgx.;_ylv=3?show=iNFhI69naa

this is how i look,
but now i have dyed my hair brownish reddish, and its shorter,
i changed my avatar to that, but yahoo is taking long to change it ,

2007-10-17 22:57:53 · 35 answers · asked by Bumumble 3 in Polls & Surveys

Last Christmas we were all given hampers instead of a Christmas bonus (this did not go down too well). In the Hamper was a mixed of tins and fruit etc. I opened a tin of salmon and put in in the bottom of my Boss's desk drawer right at the back under a mound of papers. It was there all through the holiday and when we returned in January he couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from (believe me, it brought tears to your eyes). Any Client who entered his obvious must have asumed it was him and then the roomers started around the office about his 'smell issue'. Revenge is oh so sweet. As Christmas approaches once again, I need ideas. What way would YOU punish your Boss?

2007-10-17 22:57:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

This is my 25th

2007-10-17 22:55:11 · 14 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:55:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

yeah they look cute and innocent selling their stale cookies...
i think thare going to use that money to buy ''weapons of mass destruction'' and try to overthrow the government.
what do you think?

2007-10-17 22:54:57 · 11 answers · asked by johnny trash 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:53:51 · 35 answers · asked by scouser_huyton 2 in Polls & Surveys

What comes to mind when I say.......for each of the following.....

1)Black Cat?
2)The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body?
3)Periwinkle?
4)Total eclipse of the heart?
5)So beautiful to the eye but such poison to the mind?
6)T.V.?
7)Love?

2007-10-17 22:50:25 · 8 answers · asked by ͏҉ ßõhrçmrïñsÿ★ 6 in Polls & Surveys

How long do you take it before you snap? Have you ever slapped someone?

2007-10-17 22:46:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

and you could totally get away with nobody ever knowing that it was you, would you fess up or would you just keep hush hush?

2007-10-17 22:46:26 · 45 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:44:31 · 13 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:44:24 · 54 answers · asked by Mic 5 in Polls & Surveys

can be for any reason why you are thinking of it -

I'm liking a golden oldie chill out at the moment lol -

brenda russell - piano in the dark

2007-10-17 22:43:31 · 22 answers · asked by Music fan 4 in Other - Music

just because you look like them? Does it annoy you?

2007-10-17 22:43:24 · 5 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

Does this mean you can take back everything you gave her?

2007-10-17 22:43:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I know someone on answers who keeps posting questions about me. Follows me around, does not answer my questions, but in answer keeps posting questions about me?

I don't even know who she is but why does this person keep doing it!!

2007-10-17 22:42:20 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:41:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-10-17 22:40:46 · 17 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

Just had to share this site with you.


Stumbled across it today and it'll keep me from answering questions for a while

Categories like:
Disco Party
Eurovision
Football
Just annoying
Depressing
You can't stand
Christmas

....what do you think?

http://www.mad-music.com

2007-10-17 22:39:32 · 14 answers · asked by avoiding the ironing 4 in Polls & Surveys

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed

2007-10-17 22:39:21 · 8 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Once upon a time there 3 balloons, mummy balloon, daddy balloon, and baby balloon.
Tired of baby balloon creeping into their bed every night,
"Tonight you must stay in your own bed" said mummy.
When he was sure his mummy and daddy were asleep baby balloon crept into their room and tried to squeeze into their bed.
But try as he might he just couldn't fit in, so he undid the bottom of his mummy and let tiny bit air out of her. But to his dismay he still coultn't fit in, so he crept round to his daddy's side of the bed and undid his daddy's knot and let a little bit of air out. Again he tried to squeeze in but still couldn't quite fit. So he undid hiself and let a little bit of air out. Then he fitted in nice and snuggly and fell sound asleep.

When his mum woke up she was furious!
"Get into your own room at once and think of what you have done young man!" she shouted
"I am so dissappointed in you! Not only have you let me down and your father down, you''ve let yourself down too!"

2007-10-17 22:38:14 · 14 answers · asked by hcchenery 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church.
The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest.
The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad.
The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest.
The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked,
"Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,"
the young man replied sadly.
"What happened?" inquired the priest.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man.
"When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest.
"We know," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either..."

2007-10-17 22:37:05 · 8 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

But that you have absolutely no clue how you fit into the big picture?

2007-10-17 22:36:29 · 9 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown.

2007-10-17 22:36:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste time," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Target. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five pounds...... a lot quicker and better than a doctor".
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Target. He
deposits five dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the Urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Target, eager to check what will happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better....and thank you for shopping at Target.

2007-10-17 22:35:55 · 4 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

and that the fate of the universe rests in my hands?

2007-10-17 22:35:36 · 38 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:35:01 · 16 answers · asked by Zach-7 3 in Polls & Surveys

530 A.M. here

2007-10-17 22:34:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:31:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys