Entertainment & Music - 12 October 2007

Bush and His Running Mate

Now that it seems almost a certainty that George W. Bush will become the Republican nominee for President, attention will soon focus upon whom Governor Bush will pick for his Vice Presidential running mate. It is rumored that one of the names on the 'short list' currently being floated in upper level Republican circles is former Vice President, Dan Quayle.

For many, there seems to be some very sound reasoning for picking Quayle. As was pointed out by one senior official who wished not be identified, Quayle "already knows how to do the job, will contribute gaffes that will deflect attention away from Bush's own, and in a cost saving side benefit will help the party minimize printing costs for new 'Bush-Quayle' posters and bumper stickers (since they can use the leftovers from the 1988 and 1992 campaigns).

Apparently, part of the overall strategy is the targeting of a key demographic group that has been virtually ignored in previous presidential campaigns: Senile and confused voters. One recent survey puts the 'senile and confused' at approximately 3.8% of the voting population. The hope is that this group will mistakenly believe that this is the same Bush-Quayle ticket they voted for in 1988 and 1992 and will once again cast their votes for another, albeit different, Bush-Quayle ticket. The dilemma facing Republican strategists however is determining how best to mount an effective campaign that will get out the 'senile and confused' vote. One strategist sighed, "They're a hard group to reach, let alone give instructions to."

Additionally, word has it that the former Vice President is undertaking some unique preparations for another run at the Vice Presidency. Included in his training regimen is a comprehensive reading of Websters Dictionary cover to cover as well as listening to the popular vocabulary-building program on cassette tapes, "Verbal Advantage."

For many, the inclusion of former Vice President Quayle on the ticket will spell 'opportunitee'. When one reporter asked Quayle "what do you think about running on a ticket with a Bush again," the former Vice President expressed that he was "clearly delighted" about it. However, Quayle did seem somewhat puzzled and perplexed as to why Bush has now added a "W" to his name when he didn't seem to use one before.

2007-10-12 22:30:42 · 9 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

just trying to keep it in-line.. you're thinking you want to move on but you're falling behind.. could you read my mind?

2007-10-12 22:27:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

In each of these examples, the actual name of the college is written first. Then, after each, spoofs are written about each college name.

Auburn University.
Brown University.
Chrome Yellow University.
Neon Pink University.

Northern Illinois University.
Southern Illinois University.
Eastern Illinois University.
Western Illinois University.
Northeastern Illinois University.
Northwestern Illinois University.
Southeastern Illinois University.
Southwestern Illinois University.
North-by-Northwestern Illinois University.

Yale University.
Cole University.
Weiser University.
Kwikset University.

Harvey Mudd College.
Roger Mudd College.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd College.
My Name Is Mudd College.

King's College.
Queen's College.
Jack's College (formerly Knave's College).
Ten's College.
Ace's College.

Texas A&I University.
Texas A&M University.
North Carolina A&T University.
Tennessee C&W University.
Michigan R&B University.
New Jersey M&M University.
San Francisco S&M University.

Governors State University.
Lieutenant-Governors State University.
Secretaries of State State University.
State Comptrollers State University.

University of Tennessee Space Institute.
University of Southwestern Arkansas Cosmic Realms Institute.
Elroy Jetson Space Magic Institute.

Lawrence Livermore National Labs.
Lawrence Berkeley National Labs.
Lawrence Olivier National Labs.
Lawrence of Arabia National Labs.
Lawrence Welk National Labs.

Argonne National Labs.
Kryptonne National Labs.
Xenonne National Labs.
Radonne National Labs.

Concordia University.
Discordia University.
Misericordia University.

University of Wisconsin - Madison.
University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee.
University of Wisconsin - River Falls.
University of Wisconsin - Stout.
University of Wisconsin - Porter.
University of Wisconsin - Malt Liquor.
University of Wisconsin - Night Train.
University of Wisconsin - Everclear.

Purdue University.
Louis Rich University.
Hormel University.
Oscar Mayer University.

Drexel University.
Ethan Allen University.
Seidel University.
La-Z-Boy University.

George Washington University.
James Madison University.
Chester A. Arthur University.
Millard Fillmore University.
Spiro T. Agnew University.
J. Danforth Quayle University.

McMaster University.
McSlave University.
McTop University.
McBottom University.

Wright State University.
Wrong State University.
Altered State University.
UnState University.
Out of State University.

McGill University.
McScale University.
McFin University.
McTail University.
McOperculum University.

McNeese State University.
McNeffew State University.
McAuntt State University.
McUnccle State University.

Seton Hall University.
Seton Vestibule University.
Seton Bathroom University.
Seton Bedroom University.

Sam Houston State University.
Sam Walton State University.
Sam I Am State University.
Son of Sam State University.

South Dakota School of Mines and Technology.
Colorado School of Mines.
Wyoming School of Ditches.
Montana School of Holes in the Ground.

BU.
BYU.
NYU.
BYOB.

Clemson University.
Jebson University.
Abnerson University.
DaisyMaeson University.

Clarkson University.
Loisson University.
Jimmyson University.

Stephen F. Austin State University.
Steve Austin State University.
Bionic Woman State University.

Tufts University.
Locks University.
Bald Spot University.

Tulane University.
Forlane University.
Atelane University.

Baruch College.
The Weizmann Institute.
Hofstra University.
Brandeis University.
Carasso University.

Emory University.
Nail Clippor University.
Polish Removor University.

Fordham University.
Chryslerporkshoulder University.
Generalmotorspigsfeet University.

Universite' de Montre'al.
Universite' Laval.
Universite' Trudeau.
Universite' Mulroney.

University of Central Florida.
University of EPCOT Center.
University of Disney World.

Bowie State University.
Butcher State University.
Ginsu State University.
Swiss Army State University.

Angelo State University.
Giuseppe State University.
Mario State University.
Cosa Nostra State University.

Mitsubishi Information Technology Labs.
NEC Research Institute.

Florida Atlantic University.
Florida Pacific University.
Florida Indian University.
Florida Arctic University.

Carnegie Mellon University.
Carnegie Cucummber University.
Carnegie Zucchinni University.

College of William and Mary.
College of Bonnie and Clyde.
College of George and Gracie.
College of Frankie and Johnny.
College of Jimmy and Rosalyn.
College of Ronnie and Nancy.
College of Andy and Fergie.

Cornell University.
Wheatell University.
Barleyell University.
Buckwheatell University.

Dartmouth University.
Dartnostril University.
Dartrectum University.

Duke University.
Viscount University.
Baronet University.
Knight University.
Commoner University.

Ferris State University.
Roller Coaster State University.

Florida International University.
Florida National University.
Florida State University.
Florida County University.
Florida Local University.
Florida Neighborhood University.
Florida Backyard University.
Florida Garage University.

Grand Valley State University.
Small Valley State University.
Piffling Little Valley State University.
Large Flood Plain State University.

Hunter College.
Fisherman College.
Camper College.
Backpacker College.

Lehigh University.
Lelow University.
Leinbetween University.

Colgate University.
Crest University.
Gleem University.
Close-Up University.
Pearl Drops Tooth Polish University.

Nova University.
Duster University.
Pinto University.
Super Beetle University.

Old Dominion University.
New Dominion University.
Dominions, Principalities, and Powers University.
Mark-Jason Dominionus University.

IBM T. J. Watson Research Center.
IBM T. J. Hooker Research Center.
IBM J. T. Kirk Research Center.

Southern Methodist University.
Southern Baptist University.
Primitive Baptist University.
Holy Roller University.

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Daisy-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Delphinium-Hulman Institute of Technology.
Chrysanthemum-Hulman Institute of Technology.

Our Lady of the Angels College.
Our Lady of the Elms College.
Our Lady of the Night College.

Prentiss Normal and Industrial Institute.
Prentiss Abnormal and Industrial Institute.
Prentiss Abnormal and Interior Decoration Institute.

Grinnell College.
Smilell College.
Smirkell College.

Dalhousie University.
Sandboxie University.
Playgroundequipmentie University.

Simon Fraser University.
Simon Magus University.
Simon Templar University.
Simon Legree University.

Illinois Benedictine College.
Illinois Dominican College.
Illinois Trappist College.
Illinois Carthusian College.

Illinois Benedictine College.
Illinois Benedictine and Brandy College.
Illinois Drambuie College.
Illinois Grand Marnier College.

2007-10-12 22:26:11 · 9 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

M.I.T.: "I had a nervous breakdown this weekend."
"Have some fries."

Caltech: "I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend."
"Have some fries."

Yale: "I got mugged on the way to class today."
"Have some fries."

Brown: "I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith."
"Cool! Me too! Have some fries."

Swarthmore: "I got a B."
"Anywhere else it would have been an A. Have some fries."

Princeton: "My father took away my Porsche this weekend."
"Poor dear. Have some Escargot."

Harvard: "Did you do anything this weekend?"
"Nope. Have some fries."

Williams: "Don't I know you?"
"Of course you do, silly. Have some fries."

Cornell: "I killed my lab partner this weekend."
"Bummer. Have some fries."

Columbia: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school."
"Me too. Let's go get shot."

Penn: "I wish I could be eating these fries at a better school."
"Me too. Let's transfer to Columbia."

Stanford: "Dude, I have so much work this weekend."
"Like, chill out, dude. Have some, like, fries."

Dartmouth: "Oh man, I got so trashed this weekend."
"Have some beer."

Tufts: "I wish I were Ivy League."
"Here, drink the fry grease."

2007-10-12 22:25:02 · 7 answers · asked by Frank Heyes 2 in Jokes & Riddles

wow what irony lol but anyways who do you like better?
*I pick Jack White

2007-10-12 22:23:50 · 12 answers · asked by ?only?me? 6 in Polls & Surveys

women over 50 dont have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
one of lifes mysteries is how a 2 lb box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
my mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
the best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
the nice part about living in a small town is that when you dont know what you are doing, someone else does.
the older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, by then,your body and your fat are really good friends
just when i was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
sometimes i think i understand everything and then i regain consciousness.
i gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing togather and setting fire to my knickers.
every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
amazing, you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes.
skinny people irritate me! especially when they say things like..........

2007-10-12 22:23:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

what do they mean?

2007-10-12 22:22:56 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Lyrics

2007-10-12 22:21:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Anybody noticed that these retro artists truly are scam artists? Robert Randolph and the family Band are the perfect example of this. They came out with two really good albums, and once they built a fanbase, they came out with a 3rd album aimed to please the idiotic music fans that like overproduced bubblegum R&B.

Anybody else frustrated with these fraud retro acts?

2007-10-12 22:18:07 · 2 answers · asked by Brian 1 in R&B & Soul

2007-10-12 22:16:13 · 35 answers · asked by Moon :) 7 in Polls & Surveys

recalling all of the times you could have cried then.. and think I should have cried then...?

2007-10-12 22:14:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

1- open a new file in your p.c.
2- name it "housework"
3- send it to the recycle bin.
4- empty the recycle bin.
5- your p.c. will ask you "are you sure you want to delete housework permantly?"
6- calmly answer "yes" and press mouse button firmly.
7- feel better?

works for me!!!!

2007-10-12 22:11:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Let's have an example.

2007-10-12 22:09:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Well, Im thinking of auditioning for this christmas in the park show & im going solo on singing but the worst thing is my shyness.I have a really great voice which I want to share but it gets quite hard for me to sing in front of a huge crowd.Sometimes when I have a little bit of energy I can sing ing front a crowd of people but then my voice goes all different.Kind like when ur cold u have that different time of wiggley voice.

2007-10-12 22:02:43 · 8 answers · asked by Go for your dream 2 in Singing

do u like it? rate it form 1 to 10 .

2007-10-12 21:57:09 · 33 answers · asked by 2 guitars and 1 amb 3 in Rock and Pop

Going on tuesday and dont really know what to expect, havent seen much of his stuff

2007-10-12 21:55:25 · 3 answers · asked by SweetLikeHoney 1 in Celebrities

-- Please do not dismiss this with a smile and a shake of the head.

-- Please give me a constructive answer/criticism.

-- Thank you for answering, even if you're doing it for the points.

~E.

2007-10-12 21:55:23 · 11 answers · asked by Evangeline R 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I think it is wicked. It came on when i was out last night, proper party song, really catchy. I recon it is one of her best songs yet. I hope she get well soon, i love Britney.

2007-10-12 21:53:49 · 12 answers · asked by Darlingthatsfabulous 1 in Celebrities

http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/1377/angelmain2ke3.jpg
full name?

2007-10-12 21:53:11 · 7 answers · asked by that dude 1 in Celebrities

I am looking for the model of the vintage car driven by Sam Witwicky's father when he brought him to buy Bumblebee.

The green coloured vintage 2 seater convertible. Do you know the model of the car?

2007-10-12 21:52:46 · 2 answers · asked by musiccraze 1 in Movies

2007-10-12 21:49:57 · 43 answers · asked by Vivek 2 in Other - Music

2007-10-12 21:48:06 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-12 21:46:46 · 13 answers · asked by Chav Princess 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-12 21:46:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Comedy

i goes like...''everybody sing along do da do da, everybody sing along all the do da de....''

2007-10-12 21:46:28 · 1 answers · asked by tanishta 1 in Other - Music

Is this weird? to all of a sudden, realize that the past year you haven't been happy? And then finally, have something so great happen to you, that you just can't wipe the smile off your face?!

2007-10-12 21:46:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I'm 15 yrs. old and I have an option to begin practicing with one of them, (I have no experience with neither) so can you tell me which is more suitable?

Thnx a LOT!!!

2007-10-12 21:44:00 · 7 answers · asked by YA!!! 3 in Other - Music

Push the mute button on people a lot?

2007-10-12 21:42:53 · 35 answers · asked by ?only?me? 6 in Polls & Surveys

For those of you who watched Chappelle's Show, knew what kind of content you were going to see every week. With that being said, the content of the show was outrageous and offensive to many people, especially throughout the black community.

I do not care for his show because I thought it was doing a dis-service to our society and sending the wrong message to kids, especially. Do you agree that his show was offensive or do you believe it was all harmless?

2007-10-12 21:42:30 · 7 answers · asked by djb32067433_1 4 in Celebrities

2007-10-12 21:40:15 · 35 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys