Entertainment & Music - 14 September 2006

Funniest answer in scripted form gets 10 points.

2006-09-14 20:14:06 · 3 answers · asked by gerbil31603 5 in Comics & Animation

what do you think?

2006-09-14 20:13:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

A lady walks into a bar and says,
"Barkeep, gimme a martooni." The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, "Barkeep, gimme another martooni."

So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesn't say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says, "Would you like another?"

She says, "Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn."

The bartender says, "Okay, there are three things wrong here:

Number 1: It's martini, not martooni.

Number 2: It's bartender, not barkeep, and

Number 3: You're not having heartburn, your boob's in the ash tray."

2006-09-14 20:11:44 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

My boyfriend has recently opened up to me and revealed the fact he would like to bring in someone else into our bed. Not another woman but a guy. He said that its not a gay thing for him but a visual fantasy that he has.I dont understand it and I am worried that he is gay.
To be honest, the two guy thing does appeal to a part of me, but I am afraid that this would be a coming out party......what do you think?

2006-09-14 20:11:16 · 18 answers · asked by arkymeany@sbcglobal.net 1 in Other - Entertainment

I have lots of trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I even use 3 alarms. Eventually, by 11 am I might be out of bed. I seem to waste alot of time in bed.

2006-09-14 20:10:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

This man walks into a bar that is on top of a very tall building, he orders one large drink. Downs it in one, goes over to a window and jumps out.

10 minuets later the same man walks back in. Orders one large drink, downs it in one, goes over to the window and jumps out.

Another ten minuets later he walks in again. Orders one large drink, but before he drinks it a man who has been watching all of this stops him and asks "excuse me, but how are you doing this? How can you be fine after jumping out that window?"

The man replys "well, when you down this drink in one, it gives you a warm sensation inside and everyone knows that hot air rises. So when you jump out the window all the warm air rushes to the top of your body and gently floats you too the ground."

"I've gotta try this!" the other man says. So he orders one large drink, downs it in one, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the pavement below.

The barman looks over at the bloke who's still sitting at the bar and says "You're a tosser when drunk Superman."

2006-09-14 20:09:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

2006-09-14 20:08:25 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-14 20:07:36 · 18 answers · asked by thomas1562005 1 in Polls & Surveys

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he drinks it, he tells the bartender that it is his birthday, he is now 40 today and has never been to a bar before.

The bartender is surprised but listens. The man orders another pint and one for the barman, telling the barman that it was such nice beer he would like "one for the road". On downing his second pint, he walks to the center of the room, whips out his willy and spins in a circle, peeing over everyone. The barman, very angry, throws him out.

The next evening the man walks into the bar again. The barman stops him saying, "I'm not serving you - you have two pints and then you go MAD!"

"I know how you must feel," says the man, "but I have come to apologise. This has never happened to me before and I am deeply embarassed. It has taken a lot of courage to overcome my embarassment and return here to apologise."

The barman decides to let him off and to buy a drink for everyone in the bar saying sorry. He has one himself. When the man has finished the drink, he offers to buy a drink for the barman, who accepts. On finishing his second drink, once again the man walks to the center of the room, jumps up on a table, whips out his willy, and spins around peeing over everyone. The barman throws him out.

The man walks into the bar on the third evening. The barman is quite angry and tells him that he will not be served no matter what he says.

"I understand," our hero says. "I am very deeply embarassed that there has been a repetion of my gross behaviour. It has taken a lot of courage to deal with my embarassment and to come here to apologise. I have been so embarassed that I have sought professional help. I have been to see a doctor, who has treated me and now assured me that I am cured!"

Seeing that he is cured, the barman decides to allow the man to stay. He buys a drink for the dwindling clientele and one for himself. As he chats to the barman about his embarassment, the barman takes pitty on this lonley man and allows him another drink. He downs his second pint, walks to the center of the room, jumps onto a table, whips out his willy and spins in a circle peeing over everyone.

The barman calls out, "I thought you were cured!"

"I am!" replies the man, "I am no longer embarassed!"

2006-09-14 20:07:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Doesn't matter if it is a childs gift, or for an adult.

2006-09-14 20:07:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 8 pints.

2006-09-14 20:06:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-14 20:05:30 · 7 answers · asked by monkey 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-14 20:05:20 · 16 answers · asked by Arts 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-14 20:04:54 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

One day in a bar, and man runs in out of breath, face red, sweating like a pig. The bartender says," What on earth is happening out there" And the man replys," No time to explain...give me 15 shots of your best and most expensive liqour....HURRY"

So the bartender lays out 15 shot glasses and begins pouring. As he finishes pouring a shot, the man drinks it without hesitation or a pause to breath until he gets all 15 shots.

When the man was done the bartendor said," Why on earth did yah do that"

The man replys" Well, I couldn't do that with the 15 cents I have"

2006-09-14 20:04:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Do you like men clean shaven or with facial hair?

2006-09-14 20:02:20 · 18 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

my friend was listening to some real hardcore **** the other day. its all hardcore rock and stuff. and it sounded like pigs squiling in the background of it..
i was wondering what song this is so i can check it out?

2006-09-14 20:02:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

Was there a sequel to the original Cinderella? Or the original Peter Pan? No! So why in the hell does Disney keep making sequels to these classic movies?! They're making Cinderella III, The Little Mermaid III, and Peter Pan III. It is just me or is Disney whoring themselves out?

2006-09-14 19:59:32 · 9 answers · asked by hpotter4ever2000 4 in Movies

I have especially fans of singers. I dont get it really some of these people are not all that talented. I mean if you like them fine but dont get all hot and bothered that other people dont. Hey theres no reason to hate someone because they dont like the same actor,actresses or singers you do.

2006-09-14 19:57:57 · 6 answers · asked by gerbil31603 5 in Celebrities

Did you watch Schoolhouse Rock when you was little?

2006-09-14 19:56:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Television

Do you like a woman with straight hair or curly hair?

2006-09-14 19:55:21 · 24 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-14 19:55:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

my cousin told me he heard this last week. I think he's full of.....well, you get the idea! anyone else out there heard this before?

2006-09-14 19:55:14 · 7 answers · asked by Cool Breeze 2 in Music

A village blacksmith working at his open forge, hammering a white hot horseshoe, had just finished the shoe and thrown it to the ground to cool.
The local wise-guy walked in at that moment. He picked up the horseshoe, but dropped it with a howl of pain.
"Pretty hot, eh?" asked the blacksmith.
"Naw," said the wise-guy. "It just don't take me long to look over a horseshoe."

2006-09-14 19:54:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Who would win? What would he rap to you? What would you rap to him?

2006-09-14 19:54:29 · 10 answers · asked by n8boi02 3 in Music

if not .............why??????

2006-09-14 19:53:13 · 9 answers · asked by Raju.K.M 5 in Other - Entertainment

2006-09-14 19:52:23 · 2 answers · asked by Robots 4 in Other - Entertainment

Marriage Jokes!
>> >>Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
>>The breakfast table.
>>
>>Husband gets up in a rage and
>>Says, " And you are no good in bed either,"
>>And storms out of the house.
>> >>After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
>>To make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
>>Phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
>>Says, "what took you so long to answer the phone ?"
>> >>She says, " I was in bed."
>> >>" In bed this early, doing what?"
>> >>" Getting a second opinion!"

Now u may post urs...

2006-09-14 19:52:02 · 10 answers · asked by msleprikon 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-09-14 19:50:41 · 14 answers · asked by C.C. 4 in Polls & Surveys

Wear women's clothing? I mean, they do look pretty hot.

2006-09-14 19:49:06 · 31 answers · asked by iwantreallyreallylongnicknameyay 1 in Polls & Surveys