Tell Me Some Jokes!!!?

Question

Marriage Jokes!
>> >>Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
>>The breakfast table.
>>
>>Husband gets up in a rage and
>>Says, " And you are no good in bed either,"
>>And storms out of the house.
>> >>After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
>>To make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
>>Phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
>>Says, "what took you so long to answer the phone ?"
>> >>She says, " I was in bed."
>> >>" In bed this early, doing what?"
>> >>" Getting a second opinion!"

Now u may post urs...

Answer 1

you
LOL

Answer 2

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

Answer 3

a women went to a gynecoligist and as she stood up undressing the doctor walked in and said good god this is the biggest$$$$ i have ever seen after her examination the women went home really embaresed she keep thinkin is it really that big. finally she went to the bed room to check it out. she took a mirror off the wall and laid it down on the ground. she then proceded to take off her pants and stand over top of it. just at this time her husband came home and walked in the room he asked his wife what she was doing and she replied o nothing. the husband said ok and as he turned to leave he said well just be carefull you dont fall in that hole on the floor

Answer 4

>Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
>A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at
>night.
>
>Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
>A: Because they are tired of using their own.
>
>Q: What's common between men and video?
>A: Both go
>backward...forward...backward...forward...backward....forward...stop and
>eject.
>
>Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
>A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it
>doesn't come it means you are f*cked !

Answer 5

A Rabbi, a priest, a horse, a duck, and two sailors walk in a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke!"

Answer 6

You ask for a joke and have given one yourself......hahahah....it is good........but, heard it already.......

What about this one:

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

Answer 7

Why do priests wear underware in the shower.
They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Answer 8

That blonde joke is really really really funny....hahahahahahaha!

Answer 9

That is funny!!

Answer 10

hahaha.....................