1. you get a speeding ticket when your parked
2. you have a bumper sticker that says:” coffee drinkers are good in the sack"
3. you answer the door before people knock
4. you just completed another scarf and you don’t know how to knit
5. you grind your coffee beans in you mouth
6. you have to watch movies in fast forward
7. you can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using a timer
8. you lick the coffee pot clean
9. you’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there
10. the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
11. your t-shirt says "Decaffeinated coffee is the devils coffee"
12. your so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas
13. you can type 60 words per minute with your feet
14. cocaine is a downer
15. instant coffee takes to long
16. you want to be cremated just so can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee jar
17. you go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee
18. you’re offended when people use the word ‘brew’ to mean beer
19. you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug
20. you can outlast the energizer bunny
21. your liver used soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood
22. you introduce your spouse as your coffee mate
23. your urine stream bores a hole in the toilet
24. you have two complete orgasms whilst brushing your teeth
25. you talk so fast your tongue has windburn
26. you jog to work and arrive yesterday
27. your eyes are brown….even the white parts
28. you personally account for more than 1% of the gross national product of brazil
29. mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass
30. you bungee jump and go up
31. your coffee breath can etch glass
32. you think skydiving is just too damned slow
2006-08-24
07:05:43
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6 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles