All categories - 17 November 2006

We get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet..

2006-11-17 22:38:57 · 26 answers · asked by Georgie's Girl 5 in Polls & Surveys

2006-11-17 22:38:57 · 11 answers · asked by fallenfire99 2 in Movies

2006-11-17 22:38:50 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Internet

2006-11-17 22:38:33 · 4 answers · asked by ravi_14362003 1 in Words & Wordplay

Three guys died; when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them and said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. Your answer will depend on what kind of car you get. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big!"

The first guy walks up and Peter asks the first guy, "How long were you married?"

The first guy says, "24 years."

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Peter asked.

The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times, but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "Yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter and says, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year, so we really worked it out."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that; here's your Lincoln."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk, so they went to see what was the matter.

When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife; she was on a skateboard!"

2006-11-17 22:38:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2006-11-17 22:37:55 · 0 answers · asked by arif 1 in Words & Wordplay

If you are on the eastbound picadilly line platform towards the far end there is a strange machine hanging down on a ledge from the ceiling. It rotates every few seconds, makes clicking noises and has what appears to be sort of camera type slot that opens and closes as the machine goes round in circles. It looks like a dalek and everyone who stands near it looks at it bizarelly wondering what it is.
It is not a CCTV camera however. What is this machine and what is its purpose?

2006-11-17 22:37:50 · 5 answers · asked by london24lad 2 in London

pls help really need it. i need one without using credit cards, paypal, etc.
thx

2006-11-17 22:37:45 · 5 answers · asked by Lonez 2 in Comics & Animation

I`m after one "ELO" song, but I`m very vague about the lyrics. The only way I can discribe how the song goes, is by the way it ends. It is one of their earlier songs. The song in question ends in a big climax, and here goes with how I think the ending lyrics go. " And we were really rocking on through the night, yes we were rocking all morning until the break of light, and the orchestra was belting out those really famous blues, but it is all, all, all, alright." then the music ends with a quick- DA, DA, DA. If anyone can help me, there a genius.

2006-11-17 22:37:43 · 3 answers · asked by john w 1 in Music

my baby cries alot and never seems happy he is 2 months old and moves alot after each feed he is on lactose free milk but still the same

2006-11-17 22:37:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Newborn & Baby

heya anyone know the piece music playing in the fist episode of season one of niptuck where christian is examining julia's breasts and anne comes in and interrupts them??? please help!! thank you!!

2006-11-17 22:37:05 · 1 answers · asked by strange_beauty 1 in Television

2006-11-17 22:37:02 · 13 answers · asked by James K 2 in Other - Cultures & Groups

I've heard of electric vehicles being referred to as "Zero Emission" because there is no pollution given off from them. But if the vehicle is recharged with electricity generated from a coal-fired power plant, isn't that pollution?

2006-11-17 22:36:33 · 8 answers · asked by tumbleweed1954 6 in Environment

2006-11-17 22:36:29 · 14 answers · asked by candiseroos 1 in Mathematics

I know all the details why shedding a few pounds is good for me but I can't seem to stick to any healthy eating plans. I use food to comfort me whenever sad or stressed or angry. Has anyone got any ideas? I am about 180pounds and my ideal weight is around 130 pounds.

2006-11-17 22:36:28 · 12 answers · asked by saximento 1 in Diet & Fitness

Thanks.

2006-11-17 22:36:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Psychology

You know- red underpants over blue tights. The Cape. Could you do it? In public?

2006-11-17 22:35:58 · 35 answers · asked by mince42 4 in Comics & Animation

Vj I intend to be the square root of the j operator; j or i is the complex operator whose value is equal to the square root of -1 (minus one) . The solution should be the simplest one among those possible.

2006-11-17 22:35:55 · 3 answers · asked by hb9tza/qrp 1 in Mathematics

2006-11-17 22:35:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Music

My friend was in debt last year and I offered some money to help her out. She paid back some of it but still owes me quite a lot. I haven't seen or heard from her for nearly a year now. Am I being mean in thinking that maybe she isn't such a good friend of mine. How long should I expect to wait for payback or shall I just leave it and learn the hard way not to lend money again. Thanks.

2006-11-17 22:35:26 · 41 answers · asked by kizzy 2 in Friends

Have a huge hangover. any ideas welcome but soon, as my head is pounding!

2006-11-17 22:35:22 · 14 answers · asked by bikbokkop 2 in Entertaining

i logged onto xbox live last night for the first time in a few weeks, and it had a ad about nov 22 that you were gonna be able to download tv shows and movies, does anyone know how this is gonna work? will it cost microsoft points or will their be another subscription youll have to sign up for? any info will be appreached.

2006-11-17 22:35:20 · 2 answers · asked by bshelby2121 6 in Video & Online Games

2006-11-17 22:35:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Careers & Employment

Devegowda, Sonia Gandhi, Rabri & Laloo, Mulayam, Mamatha, Uma bharati and Mayavathi are sailing in a boat. A storm upturns the boat,,,,,,,,, Who will be saved.........
First Correct answer will get 10 points

2006-11-17 22:35:10 · 18 answers · asked by Electric 7 in Jokes & Riddles

some say that its the continuation of card captor sakura but when i watch the 1st episode in youtube they have showed the past of sakura and syaoran and its different from what have happened in card captor sakura..so i just wondering if it is really the continuation of CCS why sakura is the princess of the kingdom and syaoran is an archeologist and when does he have a father?and where are her cards and where's her key that strnsforming into a stick and where's kero-chan?...and about syaoran where his sword?..and i thought that syaoran was going back to Hongkong then why he is in the kingdom..and skura said that she will wait syaoran until it comes back to japan...i don't get it..!!!

plzz answer my question i'm just getting crazy...thinking about it...

Thank you...

2006-11-17 22:35:10 · 9 answers · asked by Sakura&Shaoran 2 in Comics & Animation

Would you do the Good Samaritan bit?
Help him?
Hurt him?
I think we all agree about turning him in.

My Answer-nope I would put him out of Our Misery.

2006-11-17 22:35:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Politics & Government

He went out to India following Lord Cornwallis after the British defeat in the American War of Independence, and became a wealthy man during his stay in India.He subsequently returned to England and became an MP and changed his name to Robert Myddleton Biddulph adopting his wifes maiden surname.

2006-11-17 22:34:55 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in History

A border patrol officer is patrolling the border between the India and Pakistan one night when a man drives up on a motorcycle. The officer stops the man and asks, "What do you have in that backpack there?" The man replies, "Sand." "Sand?" the officer says puzzled, "Please open the bag sir." The man opens the bag and there is sand. "Alright, you may go on your way then, the officer said with a puzzled look.” The man then drives off into the darkness. The next week, the same man on his motorcycle drives up to the same station that he did before. He says that there is sand in the bag and, sure enough, there is. The man drives up on a motorcycle with sand in his bag every week for a couple of months. The officer starts to think, "This guy is trying to smuggle something and I am going to be the one that catches him." The next time the man drives up to the station, the officer says, "I promise, I'm not going to arrest you. But just tell me. Are you trying to smuggle something or not?" "Do you swear you won't take me in?" the man replies. "I promise," says the officer. "Well, I am ashamed to admit it but, I have been smuggling something," the man says. The officer asks curiously, "What have you been smuggling?" The man replies with a grin, "Motorcycles."

2006-11-17 22:34:53 · 25 answers · asked by anitha 4 in Jokes & Riddles

Whats your favorite mens cologne

I have Burberry London, Burberry Brit, and Hollister Drift

2006-11-17 22:34:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Fashion & Accessories

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had

not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to

rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat **** waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful

website....HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a

variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were ****, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't

anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that

you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

2006-11-17 22:34:37 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles