1. Thou shalt not rent Sleepless in Seattle.
2. When on a fishing trip with the guys, never, no matter how sunburned you and your buds may be....is it appropriate to rub sunscreen on each other's backs.
3. When queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
4. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem--you didn't see nothin'.
5. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
6. When in need to go pee, there is a minimum of one empty urinal between you and another man. If this is not possible, you're out of luck----hold it 'til later.
7. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call you on it. (Exception: When trying to pick-up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%).
8. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
9. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
10. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time: six minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
11. Things that you can always cheat on: your taxes, the SAT's, and your resume. Things you can never cheat on: golf, darts, poker.
12. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own-- weed whacker, car, firstborn child----within 12 hours' notice.
If he damages the item, he must repair it within seven days, even if it means selling his plasma. Exception: If you don't notice the damage at the hand-off, he gets away scot-free.
2007-12-19
00:20:45
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15 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles