Entertainment & Music - 27 November 2007

2007-11-27 08:58:24 · 11 answers · asked by pan_ryder17 1 in Movies

2007-11-27 08:58:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-27 08:57:17 · 13 answers · asked by spanky48 3 in Polls & Surveys

I for sure as hell did. I'd sit through that whole horrible damned video just to see the skinny mover guy keep letting the big box fly open and crap fall out everywhere.


Nowadays, I'd just assume smoke a fatty prior to viewing.

2007-11-27 08:56:55 · 7 answers · asked by Brandon's been a dirty Hore 5 in Other - Music

Dear Sir

I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are
numerous and after 9 years of marriage and 12 children (not counting the
one on the way), I have come to the conclusion that contraception is
totally useless.

After getting married, I was advised by the priest to use the RHYTHM
METHOD. Despite trying the Tango and Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I
ruptured myself doing the cha-cha. Since priests don't generally have much
cause to know about birth control I spoke to my doctor who suggested using
the SAFE PERIOD. At the time we were still living with my in-laws and had
to wait 3 weeks for a safe period when the house was empty; needless to
say, this didn't work.

The doctor also mentioned the BILLINGS METHOD which was fairly successful
as my wife didn't get pregnant, but then I've never heard of anyone getting
pregnant by a thermometer. We had to give this up because she wasn't very
satisfied and frankly I was getting bored.

A mate at work told me that PULLING OUT ON TIME stopped his wife from
having children. Although I set the alarm clock carefully, it didn't help -
sometimes I got bored waiting for it to ring and pulled out early,
sometimes it rang too soon and I had to hurry to finish. At least my wife
could tell the doctor the exact time she conceived.

A lady of several years' experience informed us that if we made love WHILE
BREAST-FEEDING we would be alright. It's hardly Newcastle Brown Ale, but I
did end up with a clear skin, silky hair and felt healthy. But my wife was
pregnant again. Another mate said that if my wife JUMPED UP AND DOWN AFTER
INTERCOURSE, it would prevent pregnancy. This she did, but what with all
the earlier breast-feeding, she ended up with 2 black eyes and eventually
knocked herself out. As for doing it STANDING UP, my wife is 6 foot 3 and I
am 5 foot 3 and kept falling off the box I had to stand on to do it.

I finally resorted to non-natural birth control and asked the Chemist about
the SHEATH. The Chemist demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a
packet. My wife fell pregnant almost immediately, which didn't surprise me;
I fail to see how a Durex stretched over the thumb (as the Chemist showed
me) can prevent babies. The Chemist also sold me some SPERMICIDAL CREAM.
This is all very well, but have you ever tried to catch the buggers and rub
the cream in? We also tried the SPONGE which was advertised as a new
method. She washed with it every night, but it didn't seem to make any
difference. For all the good it did she might as well have stuffed it up
her fanny.

My wife was then fitted with the COIL and after several unsuccessful
attempts to fit it, we realised that we had got a left hand thread and my
wife is definitely a right hand screw. The DUTCH CAP came next and we were
very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all. But
alas, it did give my wife a headache. We were given the largest size
available, but it was still too tight across her forehead.

In view of our problems, our Doctor gave us the new-fangled VAGINAL RING
which was on trial at the time. He told my wife to keep it in place for a
month. This was hard to do as it was too big for her finger and she had to
keep her hands clenched to keep it on. Despite clenching her fists during
intercourse, she was soon in the family way again.

Finally I told her to go on the PILL so she took aspirin regularly. 1 now
know that claims of 99% safety for pills are just advertising blarney. At
least it cured the headaches she got from the Dutch Cap. Could you suggest
a more effective pill? Aspirin was the most convenient as it is readily
available etc, but we could try paracetamol or nurofen if you think it
would work better. Someone suggested holding the pill between her legs, but
this defeats the object of the exercise since it renders intercourse
impossible in all but the kinkiest of positions.

I thought about having a VASECTOMY, but I really don't see how wearing a
tie will make any difference; besides I already belong to the local Social
Club and can't afford membership subs for joining a vasectomy club. I also
understand that you join for life in order to get the tie and with the 12
kids this would put a great strain on our finances. At present we are
reduced to ORAL SEX, but I'm sure you'll agree that just talking about it
is no substitute for the real thing. You must appreciate my frustration and
our problem.

Yours pleadingly

Paddy O'Murphy

PS: Please can you advise me of the accuracy of PREGNANCY TESTING KITS? My
wife passed water over the sticks, but even when she was several months
gone they came up negative. We think this is because we live in a hard
water area and the sticks are designed for use in soft water areas. For all
the use they were, she might as well have pissed on them.

2007-11-27 08:56:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-27 08:56:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

This is mine: The Scorpion Deathlock by The Devil Wears Prada

2007-11-27 08:56:06 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Rock and Pop

2007-11-27 08:56:04 · 16 answers · asked by VN 4 in Polls & Surveys

she farrted and burped all the time on newlyweds, minust the looks and shes a PIG

2007-11-27 08:54:55 · 8 answers · asked by take 5 1 in Celebrities

tv remote control keys when you know the batteries are almost dead???

2007-11-27 08:54:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Care to share it with the world??? =D

2007-11-27 08:54:09 · 22 answers · asked by F-1 says KISS IT! 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-27 08:54:06 · 8 answers · asked by April 5 in Polls & Surveys

if I met this chick, and she was hot and fun to be around. And she would be against sex before marriage, but the instance I told her I loved her she tells me she was a transsexual, could I sue for that? Or just chalk it up to live and learn?

2007-11-27 08:53:41 · 10 answers · asked by Rick R , Super Duper Samurai 侍 7 in Polls & Surveys

if your a paid stripper, if your a broke stripper, but not if your an ugly stripper, or a male stripper

2007-11-27 08:53:37 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I have a rough idea but life is so surprisng, I don't know for sure.

2007-11-27 08:52:23 · 32 answers · asked by skrdude8389 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-27 08:52:12 · 6 answers · asked by Alex 2 in Polls & Surveys

=)

2007-11-27 08:51:49 · 5 answers · asked by spiritcavegrl 7 in Polls & Surveys

Heres Your chance to say it!
thanks in advance guys!!

2007-11-27 08:51:15 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

after using the bathroom?

directed more to the guys
ladies can answer as well
and yes i do


btw...y!a wanted to put this under cleaning and laundry lol

2007-11-27 08:50:55 · 16 answers · asked by ♥808Girl♥ 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-27 08:50:25 · 43 answers · asked by lovestoned 3 in Polls & Surveys

year of your life so far?

2007-11-27 08:50:12 · 10 answers · asked by *KiM* 6 in Polls & Surveys

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to the doctor to get a checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten", the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine...eight..."

2007-11-27 08:48:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

All I can remember is that it was in 90's proberly 97+, it was in a college, there was a British girl with blonde hair who was a bit stupid and rich! and there was a guy in it who i think was called Jason, who had browny blonde hair, and there was another girl with brown curley hair who he went out with for a while? I cant remember! and its really anoing me!!!

2007-11-27 08:47:24 · 2 answers · asked by kirsty s 1 in Comedy

But don't really mean it? you just say it to make them feel better

2007-11-27 08:47:22 · 8 answers · asked by Willy Wonka Farted 5 in Polls & Surveys

I would go skydiving! I've always wanted to try it.

2007-11-27 08:47:21 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

They have never given me a free gift in any shape or form.

2007-11-27 08:46:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it! I am going to set up a test that will run two hours, and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent emails. They sent out emails with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But 10 minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder clapped, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically and screamed, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went off!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of diligent work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

2007-11-27 08:46:08 · 6 answers · asked by Patty M 5 in Jokes & Riddles

Rate me 1-10, 1 being ugly etc etc. I'm the first one on the right. Yes i am a model. i don't do THAT much modelling 'cause im still in school. This is one of 3 major runway shows i did.
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9196/couture30jt.jpg

2007-11-27 08:45:30 · 16 answers · asked by A Saucerful of Secrets 2 in Polls & Surveys

There is a cartoon online somewhere where all of the characters are singing. At the end voldermolt (spelling) sings volde molt
volde molt
volde volde volde molt
or something silly like that where can I find this?

2007-11-27 08:45:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

HOW TO GET A LIFE

It's never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't as painful as kidney stones.

Difficulty Level: Hard
Time Required: Years

Here's How:


Let go of the mouse.

Turn off the computer.

Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.

Eat something other than taco chips.

Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.

Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.

Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.

Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).

Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.

When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.

If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.

Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.

Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name.

Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.

2007-11-27 08:44:20 · 3 answers · asked by Patty M 5 in Jokes & Riddles