Entertainment & Music - 4 November 2007

> > IN MY NEXT LIFE!
> >
> > I want to live my next life backwards:
> >
> > You start out dead and get that out of the way;
> >
> > Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day;
> >
> > Then you get kicked out for being too healthy;
> >
> > Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension;
> >
> > Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day;
> >
> > You work 40 years until you're too young to work;
> >
> > You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally
> > promiscuous;
> >
> > Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no
> > responsibilities;
> >
> > Then you become a baby, and then ... You spend your last 9 months floating
> > peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room
> > service on tap, and then ...
> >
> > You finish off as an Orgasm.
> >
> > I rest my case.

2007-11-04 21:22:28 · 9 answers · asked by PC 7 in Jokes & Riddles

13 ⤊

star if you think this is funny!!?

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
"See! That was more than 5 times a month!"

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.
What do YOU say to that?!"

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,
"That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day!
But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"

2007-11-04 21:21:35 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

11 ⤊

have you ever been took up the aisle?

2007-11-04 21:20:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

10 ⤊

Toby Keith was born on what year (numerical)?

July 08, 1961

2007-11-04 21:19:48 · 16 answers · asked by ANDREW B 2 in Country

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Christmas is coming. Have all my little friends been ~see detail below~?

good and deserve gifts? I've been too busy to watch over everyone all the time. What kind of gift do you think you deserve?

2007-11-04 21:17:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

22 ⤊

~~What is directly behind you as you read my question?

And please don't say the back of my chair..... beyond that, ok?

2007-11-04 21:17:16 · 17 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

10 ⤊

Does God love blondes?

God Loves Blondes

A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and
she's in serious financial straits.
She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to
pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lotto."

That night the blonde dreams she wins the lotto.
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
The next day she prays... "God, please let me
win the lotto! I've lost my business my house
and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often
ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE
just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in
order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the
heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the
voice of God Himself...

"Sweetheart,
work with Me on this...........
Buy a ticket."

2007-11-04 21:16:56 · 12 answers · asked by PC 7 in Jokes & Riddles

25 ⤊

~~What did you have for dinner tonight? What would you have wanted to have for dinner?

2007-11-04 21:16:23 · 20 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

19 ⤊

s**t! don't answer the door it's the__________?

2007-11-04 21:15:15 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

9 ⤊

Come on Ladies, are we that bad lol!?

During a recent Tuesday outing, Marilyn sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Marilyn stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
"Will I be acquitted?"

2007-11-04 21:09:16 · 11 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

4 ⤊

how did you feel when you woke up this morning?

2007-11-04 21:08:34 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

0 ⤊

You are asked to provide a picnic for two, What will you put in the basket?

Remember that film (what ever it was) where the ladies had a picnic in a basket and somehow they were matched up to one of the men for the picnic. what on earth was it?

2007-11-04 21:04:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

11 ⤊

Do you know any useless facts?

Any & all contributions appreciated..Thanks!

2007-11-04 21:03:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

11 ⤊

it's 2 am..and you just woke up from a horrible nightmare...?

you rise from the bed and decided to go to the kitchen for a glass of water..as you walk to your kitchen..you felt someone is standing behind you..you look behind but there's no one in sight..you just ignore it and continue to go to the kitchen..
after you drank the water you went back to your room..suddenly you felt a hand grabbing you ankle...you look but there's nothing there...you feel weird..you arrived at your room and went straight to your bathroom..you look yourself in the mirror and found a faceless women with long hair in white cloths standing behind you..you look behind..there's no one..you turn back to the mirror..and found out there's something on your forehead..a word "help" appear in blood. you wash it off and thought to yourself that it was just an imagination..you went back to your bed..as you lie on the bed..you heard something from the window...you look and saw a girl suddenly floating by the bed holding a tombstone in her hand..

what's on your mind that time?

2007-11-04 21:02:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

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