What are the funniest and wierdest lyrics you've actually heard?

Question

For me it's Devo's Speed-Racer.
http://music.yahoo.com/Devo/Speed-Racer/lyrics/22431251

Answer 1

They lyrics in this song are great, but what makes it even better is the video that was added to it:

The @SShole Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeI5y2ohifo

Okay, I've added this one too:

Amish Paradise - Weird Al
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsfVw9xxoNY

Answer 2

Tommy the Cat
"I remember as it were a meal ago"

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
may have nestled its way into His mighty throat. Many a fat alley rat
had met its demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel
of this awesome prowling machine. Truly a wonder of nature this urban
predator. Tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare
occasion such as this that he did.

"She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot
biscuit. The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in
even the oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those
days. The sight was beyond belief. Many a head snapped for double,
even triple, takes as this vivacious feline made her way into the
delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were
known to hang out. They hung in droves. Such a multitude of
masculinity could only be found in One place... and that was
O'malley's Alley. The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)
but not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
the heart of the alley. She knew what she wanted. She was lookin'
for that stud bull, the he cat. And that was me. Tommy the Cat is my
name and I say unto thee...

Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"

Answer 3

This is an old Chuck Berry song from several years ago:
"My Ding A Ling" ---

When I was a little bitty boy
my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hangin' on a string
she told me it was my ding a ling

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling

And then mother took me to Grammer School
But I stopped all in the vestibule
Every time that bell would ring
catched me playin' with my ding a ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard I heard bells ring
but held on to my ding a ling

Once I was swimming cross Turtle creek
many snappers all around my feet
Shure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holdin' my ding a ling

This here song it ain't so sad
the cutest little song you ever had
those of you who will not sing
You must be playin' with your own ding a ling
My ding a ling Your ding a ling, your ding a ling
We saw you playin' with your ding a ling
My ding a ling everybody sing
I want to play with my ding a ling

Answer 4

This one is the weirdest I have come across:

Artist: Free Drink
Title: On the table

When we are young
On the table, on the table
The book is on the table
The pen is on the table
The paper is on the table
The bag is on the table
And now the barman is ready
Cuba libre is on the table
Mojito is on the table
Kaipirinha is on the table
Kaipiroska is on the table
Everybody is on the table

The girl is on the table
The boy is on the table
The man is on the table
The woman is on the table
Everybody is on the table x2

When you believe the party is stopped,
the party never stops

The girl is on the table
The boy is on the table
The man is on the table
The woman is on the table
Everybody is on the table

Answer 5

Every second counts
When I am with you
I think you are a pig
You should be in a zoo

It's from New Order - Every Little Counts
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/neworder/everylittlecounts.html

It's weird for me 'cause I never expected something like this from them. I couldn't stop laughing when I first heard it :))

Answer 6

Weirdest lyrics proabably has to be I am The Walrus by the Beatles.

Answer 7

White & Nerdy

They see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Really, really white and nerdy

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
M.C. Escher, that's my favorite M.C.
Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you've see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze

There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon(in part)


They see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy


I'd like to roll with the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
How'd I get so white and nerdy

I been browsin', inspectin' X-Men comics
You know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need a code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog (yo)
I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a role of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me get freaky

I'm nerdy in the extreme
Im Whiter than sour cream
I was in A/V club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard was
"Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin', they're laughin'
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
White and nerdy

Just because I'm white and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
All because I'm white and nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstars
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

Answer 8

the ones that have stuck in my head for some strange reason is from the stranglers

" making love to the mersey tunnel with a sausage , have you ever been to liverpool , please dont talk much you burn my ears , you must have talked for a thousand years "

weird i know


all the best
Ian

Answer 9

I nominate "The railroad comes through the middle of my house."

http://www.grandfolkies.com/r.htm

The last stanza starts "I'm singing this song in the middle of my house," but it is interrupted with a train whistle.

Answer 10

depending on how old you are,,, if your old enough some weird rude lyrics are
http://www.lyriczz.com/print.php?songid=40999

Lyriczz taken from LyricZZ . Com

I LOVE THIS SONG, HEHEHE